Stay (ManxBoy)

Chapter Twenty Two - Take My Things And Leave

Nepenthe:

(n.) Something that can make you forget grief or suffering.

Chapter Twenty Two – Take My Things And Leave

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It’s been four days and Charlotte still hasn’t answered any of my texts or calls. I have never seen Evan as quiet as over the past couple of days. Not only has it been hard to explain to him that it isn’t his fault, it’s also been impossible to show him that I still want to be with him.

Charlotte’s ring rests in its original box on my nightstand, but I don’t really sleep in my own bed. Evan told me the first night that he wouldn’t be able to handle sleeping at her side of the bed with the knowledge of him hurting her. And no matter how I tried to explain him it won’t change anything, he refuses to listen to me. So I had pushed my two couches against each other and covered it in pillows. I sleeps just as well and Evan seems to be able to get at least a few hours of sleep when he’s lying next to me.

I did have time to think when I was spending my days at the office. For instance; I have to make a decision about our house. If I put it up for sale everyone will be suspicious and they will start assuming things which will put Charlotte down. But I don’t know if I’ll have enough money to keep two houses if the news of our divorce will come out, or the whole reason behind it.

And even if I will be able to keep two houses, will I have to live alone or will Evan join me? I know he feels terrible about the fact that we betrayed Charlotte, but he doesn’t regret it.

‘Charlotte’s trying to reach you.’ Grace says from where she’s standing in the door opening. I look up to her with wide eyes, before quickly reaching for my phone on my desk.

There are indeed two missed calls from Charlotte and so I dismiss Grace as I put the phone to my ear. It rings no more than three times before Charlotte picks up and my heart starts beating faster as her voice reaches my ears.

‘Alexander.’ She whispers and I let a small smile settle on my face.

‘Hello there Charlotte, how have you been?’ My voice is soft and I am almost scared that I will make her hang up. But Charlotte has never been a person of giving up. She’s persistent.

‘OK.’ For a few seconds it’s completely silent. I simply don’t know what I should tell her, or what she wants to tell me and it’s making it impossible to converse.

‘Where will you two go?’ Charlotte asks me and I try to distract myself by looking down through the window at the people whom are walking on the street.

‘I will go somewhere else, preferably still within reach of the company. Evan I don’t know about, I wish he would stay with me, but I can’t force him to come with me.’ Charlotte lets out a non-committed hum and she’s probably picking her nails.

‘Why are you… gay?’ I keep still again, just to process what she’s asking me. She genuinely seems to think that it’s a choice to become gay.

‘Charlotte it hasn’t been as much as a choice for me. I wish I were straight simply for the fact I would be happy with you and the people here would accept me. I simply am.’ She runs over my words a few times and the only sounds that can be heard are the shallow breaths that leave us.

‘I will promise not to fight the divorce, or out you to the public. But I need you to promise me something.’ A breath I didn’t know I was holding escapes me in relieve. She will let me go without a fight and that makes everything just a little bit better for me.