In my heart, in my head [PaperHat]

Chapter 6: River

The two men had fallen asleep on each other not long after they had finished tending to the damage each other's bodies had been subjected to. It was quite cute, Flug had absentmindedly turned around and the two were now cuddling each other, sat up on the grass in their sleep. Anyone would have just believed they were too tired to care about what position they were in right now, and just desperately needed comfort after everything they'd been through. Until you realise that Blackhat was still quite barely conscious, and desperately clinging to the warmth of the scientist. He was determined to never let him leave his sight again.

After they woke up from possibly their third nap that day, neither of them acknowledged the fact that they had both been practically smothering each other in their sleep. Flug had stirred a little under the taller man and whispered him an exhausted good morning before they forced each other to get up and welcome the afternoon sunshine. They argued for a little while though, Flug trying his hardest to convince Blackhat to take his coat back and cover his wounds. Frankly, the demon was too tired to argue right then and there and took his coat back within minutes, half glad his coat wasn't damaged but a little sad that he wouldn't be seeing the scientist wearing it again any time soon.
Okay Blackhat, that was a little weird he thought to himself as he slid his arms through the rough sleeves and gently put his coat on as to not reopen anymore wounds again. If he were to heed their progress another time it would not be over something as dumb as Blackhat reopening his cuts for the second time.
Meanwhile, Flug was frazzled. So much had been happening within just a couple of days and part of him hoped 5.0.5 or even Demencia would just accidentally press the button on the machine or something. They were both very obviously still tired. Flug's paper bag had a slight rip on the bottom which Blackhat decided not to point out, even if it was just a tiny rip, Flug would still tear the ground up if he noticed, and doing it here especially after the previous days events might not be good for the both of them.
Blackhat watched the shorter man as he tended to Mower beside him, thinking about the last time that happened.

Demencia had once accidentally ripped a huge slice down the middle of Flug's paper bag and he was so frustrated it took them all an entire two hours to calm him down. 5.0.5 had sat outside the door soothingly telling him things in whatever language bears speak. Flug came out of his lab the next day with an entirely new bag, that looked exactly the same as the last, seemingly completely back to normal. However, it took Demencia all of that day to clean up the mess Flug had made in his mad frenzy, and business was slow because 5.0.5 ensured that nobody got anywhere near the scientist while he relaxed. Not even Blackhat. It was quite brave of him, but Blackhat still doesn't forgive him to this day. They have deadlines to meet after all.

The memory made Blackhat shiver. Not much scared him but he had never seen Flug so angry before. Blackhat had also seen a glimpse of his face when they had first met. It wasn't like he had anything to hide.
His scared little puppy dog eyes trembling in the dimly lit darkness of that alley, blood trickling down his nose after the punch he had taken from that robber.
What a first impression Blackhat thought to himself. Flug turned around and caught Blackhat staring at him and quickly closed the hatch on Mower's back, dusting himself off with a flustered noise before turning back to his boss.
"a-all ready to go, sir!"

The afternoon sun had melted back into the forest again and it was no longer as dark. It was still kind of hard to see but just enough for the scientist to see Mower's giant body in front of them, like a protective shield or a barrier. It was warmer than before too, Flug was so unsure whether it was just the sunlight above them or the rising temperature of his body having thought about how close he had gotten to his boss earlier. He considered the fact that maybe he was mistaken, and Blackhat didn't actually understand after all, and his temperature quickly returned to normal after that.
The final stretch of the forest quickly closed to an end and the exit became apparent. A clean, oval shape leading outwards into a lush, green meadow, spotted with different kinds of flowers and vegetation. The scent of honey was greeting, tantalising, even to Blackhat. Flug stumbled out into the meadow close behind him and was also greeted by the strong scent of honey and flowers, drifting up into his paperbag and filling it with the sweetest smell he had ever experienced in his life.
"Wow, Flug. this is actually kind of...nice," Blackhat whispered drowsily, surprised at the sudden change of scenery in comparison to the other things they'd seen in this world. Just a normal, and relatively pretty meadow...and that gorgeous smell.
"what are you implying?" Flug asked hesitantly. Was he trying to say he was shocked? Flug almost felt insulted when he also realised that this was the only nice thing they'd seen recently. The scientist was finding it hard to decipher which part of his own mind this was symbolising, himself. Perhaps this was a manifestation of his personal safe space, but he expected there to be more things here. It was relatively empty aside from the few trees spotted around, and the tall grass and flowers.
Flug took off one of his gloves and ran his fingers through a bunch of lilies, grabbing a few of the softer looking ones by the stem and picking them from the ground. They smelled gorgeous, not the nature smell you'd usually get from vegetation in the real world, but like fruit mixtures and perfume.
"They're really pretty," Blackhat sighed besides him, keeping his eyes glued forward to avoid making awkward eye contact with the scientist.
"you think so? i thought you didnt like flowers, sir,"
Blackhat had never really shown much of a liking towards anything, really. Besides some of Flug's inventions, which Flug guessed this would also be considered as, but his boss had never spoken with such a calm tone like that before.
"These I can make an exception for,"
Dr.Flug felt like thanking him almost, but didn't want to ruin the moment and so carried on walking onwards. After a few moments the scientist stopped, calling after Blackhat nervously.
They had reached the middle of the meadow now, and Flug explained that he had found a nice area they could stop to eat and Blackhat eagerly joined him on the grass. Mower sat down besides them and the scientist removed a few sandwiches and a carton of orange juice from his back.
"Wow, it really is well equipped," Blackhat mumbled to no-one in particular and took a huge bite out of the sandwich he was given. Flug just nibbled at his gingerly, still analysing his surroundings. That was expected. It would make sense that Flug would want to know as much about his own mind as he could.
Blackhat hadn't noticed before but Flug brought out a little pen and notepad and started writing in it, careful not to let Blackhat see his other notes.
"You've been doing that the whole time?" the demon asked.
"you haven't noticed?"
Flug adjusted his goggles before turning back to the paper and flipped through his other notes, re-reading them carefully. Blackhat saw his own name on one of the pages but decided not to say anything about it. It worried him a little though.
Half an hour passed and the sun had set. It felt like days weren't long enough here, but the two men decided to just stay there for the night anyway.
Flug and Blackhat made themselves comfortable on the grass and watched the sky together, the story of stars putting on a wondrous show yet again. An entire family of fireflies emerged from the trees and flew around their heads, like tiny yellow lightbulbs. This whole scene was almost...normal. Besides the fact that Blackhat was sat so close, his shoulder touching the scientist's.
Blackhat turned to Flug eventually as if to say something and the scientist looked back, kind of nervous about what it was his boss was about to say.
There was something on his mind, any fool would have been able to guess that, but what it was made Flug's nerves do backflips inside his body.
"Flug, I have to talk to you about something," Blackhat began. There it was. That tender, sad smile. The same one he'd seen several times since they arrived here. It was like the demon pitied him, felt bad for him. It hurt Flug so badly.
"what about sir?"
Blackhat stopped for a moment, took in a deep breath and exhaled softly.
"Its about you, and your future at Black Hat inc..."
Flug froze in his tracks. What was he talking about? Was he being fired? Had he really not been doing good enough all this time.
His suspicions were about to be confirmed he could feel it, Blackhat was just being nice to soften the blow of firing him. He was mad that Flug could let something like this happen with the machine, and let his boss get hurt, and he was going to be fired.
Flug started fidgeting with his fingers, cracking his knuckles anxiously and staring at his boss with as much composure as he could muster in that very moment.
Blackhat's eyebrows dropped with his face as his pity smile turned into a genuinely sad smile. The demon grabbed Flug's shaking hands and pulled them close. He could feel the scientist trembling just through holding his hands. He really was sick.
"Flug," Blackhat began.
"After everything i've seen...I just don't think you're fit to work with us anymore. You're obviously sick...mentally...and if there is anything I can do to help you then I will, even if that means having you step down from your place as our scientist,"
Flug's heart felt like it stopped so suddenly he was going to throw up. Is that what this was about?! Blackhat thought he was mentally ill?
Maybe he was right about that, but didn't he see that he the reason Flug was suffering so much?
"If it's to do with what happened when we met, I can get you to talk to a therapist. We can help you out-"
Flug felt like he was going to die. He stood up, stomping on the flowers he had picked in the process and clenched his fists so hard he probably could have broken his frail fingers right then and there.
"You really don't understand do you?! honestly how dunce can you be!"
And with that the scientist ran off as fast as he could, heading back towards the forest as fast as his legs could carry him. Anger and disappointment filled him up like a flood of emotion before it poured out of his eyes like a waterfall of hot tears down his face. They wouldn't stop, and his vision became impaired. Soon he was pushing himself through leaves and branches, then his foot fell from underneath him and he was tumbling quickly down the side of a small ditch.
The poor man landed in a pool of mud at the bottom of the ditch and all he could think to do in that moment was yell, scream in agony. Not because he was hurt, but he was hurting.
Blackhat really thought he understood! he was so blind and stupid and narcissistic.
Selfish.