Ink Stained

75: beginning of the end*

A part of her had asked, Am I finally going to die?

That part of her wanted to die. That part of her was fine with plunging to her death far down below. That part of her wasn't her – it was that Pai. The killer living inside, the one Kuniumi kept trying to coax back out into the open.

She still wasn't sure that that wouldn't have been the best thing to happen, and that thought, that confusion, rendered her silent.

"Pai, answer me. Tell me you're okay."

She brought her eyes slowly back to his from staring blankly at the ground beneath them at least fifteen feet below. The air curved around them, his wings keeping the strongest currents at bay whilst still using them to keep them afloat.

It was cold.

It was hot.

Her skin flushed at his proximity, at the look in his eyes. It wasn't just concern she saw there. It was fear. Real, unadulterated fear. Seeing that, shame flooded her. There he was going against his instincts of preservation to stay alive because she'd guilt-ed him into it. And here she was thinking it was fine if she was crushed into the ground, left for dead.

She hated hypocrites, but, Oh how like one you are now.

"I – I'm fine, I...I am fine." She finally managed in a tremulous gasp. It was only when she lowered her gaze from his that she realized she'd fisted her hands so tight around the front of his sweater that there were sure to be marks left behind. She could feel his tension right through his shirt, and she couldn't imagine how on-edge he was right now. "I am fine, Shin-san. Th – thank you for catching me."

He didn't say anything, his eyes darkening. She was about to let go of his sweater, but when she felt a change in the wind direction and looked back to his wings to see them beating powerfully as he started to take them back up to the platform of the house, she changed her mind. Her stomach dipped as they flew back up and she instinctively wound her arm around his neck.

Getting back was slower than it had been when she was falling, that much she could say. It was like Shin flew them up slowly on purpose, and she wondered if he did it to give her time to compose her frazzled nerves before they got there.

She didn't know how she was supposed to react when they got back to Kagetora. She was torn between slapping him, screaming at him in rage, and just staring at him as she tried to figure out why he'd done that. Why he'd pushed her over the edge.

A splash of cold water doused her thoughts as they came to a screeching halt at a sudden realization.

Kagetora pushed her over the platform and sent her flying. But she hadn't. She hadn't flown because she couldn't. She wasn't the Tengu she was made out to be, as the pendant she wore under her shirt was supposed to make her look. Shin caught her before she reached the ground. Shin, the real Tengu, had to save her when she supposedly should have been able to herself.

It was a test.

He was testing her. She'd failed and she had no idea what it meant that he now knew she wasn't Tengu. He must have known all this time that she was lying about what she said she was. Pushing her over the edge was just a way to confirm his suspicion.

When they finally got back to the porch and Shin set her on the floor, he ran his hands over her hair and down to her shoulders, almost as if he was physically making sure that she was really all right. He peered into her eyes. She thought she heard him say something but she wasn't sure. Her head was stuck in a balloon and no sound filtered in.