Ruin Your Childhood //Completed//

The Smurfs

My friends, it is obvious that you have come to this page because of an undying desire to unfold the truth behind all the controversy that has blanketed the Smurfs recently. This site is here to explore the candor of the rumors and eradicate all myths that have bewailed the Smurfs, America's favorite little blue people.  
 

The first, and probably most public, controversy is that the Smurfs were communist. There is a very strong argument supporting this. Here are examples arguments supporting that the Smurfs were communist.  
  
 

The Smurfs shared everything, labor and wealth. 

The Smurfs each had assigned tasks to do and they were forbidden to do other tasks. 

The Smurfs were overseen by one powerful smurf: Papa Smurf. 

The Smurfs lived in a cashless society.

The Brainy Smurf is constantly being put down for thinking too much.

Papa Smurf's red hat is a notoriously communist color.

These arguments are strong, and they seem to make a point. HOWEVER, they are forgetting something: Communists suck and the Smurfs do not! Therefore, the Smurfs are not communist. 

The second most public controversy is that the Smurfs were all homosexuals. This argument seems valid. There were over 100 male smurfs to every female smurf. There were only three female smurfs to ever appear on the show. The most remembered and popular one being Smurfette. Nobody care about the other two bitches. Since there were a severe shortage of females, the Smurfs probably were flaming homosexuals. Oh well, who cares? There is no proof of them being gay. They never engaged in homosexual activities on the cartoon show, so we will never know (unless someone finds long lost footage, but what sicko would want to see that anyway?). 

Lastly, there is some controversy over whether Smurfette was a slut. Well obviously she was! She was basically the only game in town (unless you count the other boy smurfs and the small rodent animals). She was probably busy late into every night. Even with all that sex, the boy smurfs probably got pretty strong in the hands and wrists, if you know what I mean. 

 
Papa Smurf 

Probably the hardest hit by all this controversy, Papa Smurf has been called the dictator of the Smurf's communist society. He has also been dubbed a child molseter and made fun of in a humor article entitled "Papa Smurf Ate My Balls." Such disrespect for the oldest, wisest, and leader of the happiest society to ever grace our televison screens. 

 Smurfette 

The only female remembered in the Smurf cartoon show. She appears to be the sweetest thing on the planet, but will go down in history as the biggest slut the animation community has ever had. 

 
The Evil Smurf 

This is what some view the delightful smurfs as. Its sad to see such happiness destroyed by a corrupt society. But he is pretty cute, you have to admit.