A Chrianna Life

Chapter 13 - Feeling Betrayed?

Chris POV

*1 months later*

I stared at the sleeping beauty laid across me. Her thumb cutely positioned in her mouth and her hair loosely hanging over her face. I moved her long tresses lightly so I could see the face that I have grown to love. The face that has me so gone. She has me wrapped around her little finger and I'll admit to that with pride. This women is the love of my life and saying that scares me because being with her has made me realise that all my previous relationships and sexual engagements wasn't anything close to love. I know because I've never felt this way about someone before, even Karrueche. With Kae, everything was based on superficiality. Her idea of having fun was going to the club, getting drunk and having sex. Her idea of having fun was using my black card to go shopping. Our relationship was okay but it was empty. I always felt like something was missing and now I see that it was the love, the passion, and the connection that was missing. I was so caught up in being with her, I never noticed any of this before. I never noticed how incompatible we were. Until I met Robyn. It's kind of like Robyn opened my eyes. I never knew what being in a good relationship felt like, what having support felt like. Me and Robyn's relationship is so different from how me and Karrueche's was. Robyn's just such a soft, gentle and caring person. It's the little things, whether she says "are you okay baby?", "do you want me to run a bath for you?", "you hungry babe?". She has this warm nurturing character to her that I love. She's such a polar opposite to Karrueche who didn't care about me or my feelings. I keep waiting for her to change, to turn into this horrible self-centred person, but it never happens. & it just reminds me how lucky I am to have her.

Anyway, our relationship (so far) has been nothing short of amazing. I feel like I'm finding happiness all over again. For a long time, I was angry. Not having a relationship with my mum, going to jail for a crime I didn't commit and finding out that the only 'good' thing I had in my life was cheating on me and using me, practically broke my heart. My life has been far from smooth sailing and I was angry. All that anger, all that pain became a chore I had to carry everyday. I was walking around with this invisible baggage, and it was heavy. Then it's like Robyn came into my life and gave me a whole new purpose. A whole new feeling. I don't feel angry anymore, I don't feel bitter, because I'm happy. & I have Robyn to thank for that. It's funny, the other day she told me that I saved her life, if only she knew, she was the one that saved mine.

"Baby?" I turned around and looked at my lil mama wiping her eyes and stretching. She's so beautiful.

"You looked like you were in deep thought over there. What was you thinking so hard about?" she giggled

"You. I was just thinking about how how happy I am. You have changed my life in so many ways and I'm grateful. I... I love you with every breath in my body and I want you to know that" She smiled, crawling over to me.

"Baby, all I want is for you to be happy and if you are, then that means I'm doing my job right. I mean, after all you've done for me, you have saved me more times than once. You deserve happiness and I'm glad I can give you that. Christopher, you are my heart, all of it. I love you too" she kissed my head and pulled me into a tight hug. My eyes began to water and I cursed myself for not being manly enough to hold it together. It's just, she always knows what to say. Even though I'm still working on trust, I feel like I can trust her completely and that's a big step for me after Karrueche. I sniffled

"Chris, I can practically see the wheels turning in your head. Don't you dare be ashamed to cry in front of me, you know I would never judge you" I looked down

"Yeah, I know and I love you for that"

"Look, it's Saturday morning, I've had a long week at work and I can do with some down time. Let's go out and do something, because knowing your ass, you'll text me all throughout work. 5 minutes after I've left and I get a text like 'I miss you babe, when are you coming home?" she laughed lightly. It's true. When she's at work, I get bored. It's like my life loses its colour when I'm not around her and I'll be texting her all day, calling her at her lunch break. I do it for two reasons. 1, I just miss her when she's away, all the time and 2, I know it makes her smile and that's all I want.