A Chrianna Life

Chapter 9 - Having Doubts?

Robyn POV.

"J...Jason" I said scared, shocked and anxious.

"The one and only, my my Robyn, don't you look very beautiful. You're glowing" he said smiling. I was still in a state of shock, unable to speak. All I could hear was my erratic breathing. Jason suddenly took a firm grip on my wrist and naturally, I shrieked in pain. This can't be happening to me. I was literally fine just an hour ago, and now I'm standing face to face with my abuser that has made me the way I am today. It's hard to believe I used to love him more than life itself. Despite everything he's become, I still do. There's still a tiny part of me that cares for him.

"Robyn!" I heard Chris shout, I could hear the nervousness in his shaky voice.

"Chris" I cried out immediately.

"Who's Chris?" Jason yelled, now tightly grabbing both of my wrists. I felt as if my bones were going to break.

"Jase, you're... hurting me" I said struggling to take in oxygen. Fuck, I...I can't breathe. He slowly let me go when he realised the condition I was in but my focus was shifted as I began to hyperventilate viciously. A panic attack came on so quickly and I found myself scrambling through my bag for my pump, but to no avail. I fell to the ground dropping all the food items I had in my hands. Shit, I couldn't even find the energy to move as my vision become slightly blurry. I wanted to call for Chris, but the words were stuck in my throat. I could faintly see Jason sitting down next to me. He held my hand.

"Robyn, it's okay. I'm calling an ambulance. You're going to be okay" He looked petrified. See, underneath all that bravado is a man who genuinely cares for me. I know he's a good person. He just feels like he's been let down by the system and his family. He has no one & I know how horrible that feeling can be. My eyes slowly shut and I became unaware of my surroundings.

*Hours Later*

I shuffled around and my eyes fluttered open to a shooting pain. Uh, a horrible migraine. I looked down to see I was in a... hospital gown? What the hell. Then it all came rushing back to me, I saw Jason. He's out of prison. I began to get nervous all over again. He will kill me, I know he will. After all, I did get him put in prison for 5 years. Where the hell is Chris? What's going on?

The door opened and surprise surprise, in walked Jason. My heart was beating so fast, I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead but I refused to show my fear. I kept a straight stale hard face.

"Robyn, can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about Jason. Please leave"

"There's just some things I need to get off my chest. Please Robyn, when I finish, you can kick me out if you want" he looked at me with pleasing eyes. I nodded, gesturing for him to get on with whatever he wanted to say.

"Robyn, I want to start by saying sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. You've been nothing short of a good women to me and I treated you badly. That's my biggest regret. I can't make excuses for myself, because what I did was inexcusable but you know I was having a hard time." He took a long pause.

"The day I found out my sister was killed, was the worst day of my life. I wanted to die with her. I remember just wishing, hoping and praying that I'd be so fortunate to not wake up the next morning. You know it hit me hard but what hit me harder was the fact that the police didn't do anything but sit on their asses sipping coffee and munching on doughnuts all day. It hurt to know that no one cared. I was angry, so angry and I wrongfully took my anger out on you. I'm sorry for that but to see you so happy and partying made me feel jealous. I felt as though you didn't care if I was unhappy. And Rob, you're so beautiful, you had so many men chasing you and I felt like if I controlled you and kept you at home, you wouldn't have the opportunity to cheat. Not that you would anyway. I know you're always faithful, you're heart is too. Robyn, what I'm trying to say is that I acknowledge my mistakes. I'm just trying to make amends to you. I've had two years of therapy in prison, I'm getting help & all I ask is that you don't hate me because I will never treat you like that again"