A Chrianna Life

Chapter 2 - He's A Dream.

Excuse me", a raspy but soft voice said, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I looked up to see a very handsome clean-shaven caramel skin man smiling at me. He looked very nice but I wasn't in the mood for this.

"What?" I snapped in a sharp rude manner"

"I don't wanna bother you Miss. It's just, I've watched you crying for about 15 minutes now & I just wanted to make sure you're alright".

What's it to you?" I quietly asked folding my arms and glaring at him dubiously. I know I'm being a bitch, but I have to. I've been hurt so much in the past, I had to act tough to avoid being hurt again.

"I just don't like the thought of a beautiful girl crying in the middle of the night all by herself". He called me beautiful, I was getting a bit excited at the thought. I mean, sure I get called beautiful quiet often to be honest but there was something different about him. I could feel the sincerity in his eyes. He had beautiful eyes and at this point, they were burning a whole through me, seemingly in admiration. "Yeah, well I don't care what you like, I don't even know you" I spat, I know I'm being rude but this way is better. He will walk away and I won't risk getting hurt again.

"Look, my names Chris & I can see you're upset but you don't have to be so defensive. I only wanna help. I can sit next to you and we can just talk, no strings attached. That is, if you want to".

I looked in those beautiful brown eyes & again, only saw sincerity. There was something about his voice too, so soft and inviting. I wanted to pounce at the thought of what he said because I did need someone to confide in, someone I didn't know but the damaged girl inside of me screamed "Leave me alone, if I needed help, I would have asked". I regretted these words the second they left my mouth. "Are you sure?". He raised his eyebrows questionably, I think he knew I didn't mean what I said. No. Say no, Robyn. "YES". Damn. I blew it.

He began to walk on, I think he was going to the club but before he reached the door I screamed "Wait!". He stopped and looked at me with soft sympathetic eyes. I quickly put my head down. "Does your offer still stand?" I asked keeping my head down. I was so ashamed and embarrassed of my messy erratic behaviour. "Ofcourse" he said walking over & plopping down next to me but also leaving a healthy space between us. He picked my chin up with his index finger. "You don't have to be ashamed or embarrassed. I'm not gonna judge you. I'm only here to listen and give you advice if you need it. Consider me your agony aunt for the night" he gushed, chuckling a little bit. I let out a loud laugh before sighing and inhaling a deep breath.
"Um, maybe this isn't a good idea. I don't usually tell people my business, it's hard for me to trust & open up".
"Well..", he said gazing into my eyes with so much passion and feeling. "..You're gonna have to trust someone someday. Why not start with me?" he smiled. I smiled back. He seemed like a really nice guy & I felt so comfortable sitting near him but I just didn't want him to think I was weak or that I couldn't handle myself. After what seemed like minutes of battling with my inner self. I mentally decided to confide in him.

"Chris, I don't know where to start. Lately, I've just been feeling so sad and upset. I've only been feeling this way for a few months but it feels like an eternity. I just can't be happy about anything in my life, because that happiness is just overwhelmed by the sadness I constantly feel. It's complicated & I can't possibly expect you to understand it but it's the way I feel". I kept it brief & vague but somehow letting that go made me feel a little better.
"Wow, that's powerful. Why do you think you've been feeling this way lately?". That was the question I was dreading. How can I possibly tell a stranger the personal damaging things I've been through that I haven't even told my closest friends or family? I can't tell him. I can't. "I dunno" I said, turning away from him, avoiding eye contact. It was obvious that I was lying & didn't want to tell him why I felt this way but I've never been a good liar so that didn't shock me.