Remnants of the Heart | Kim Taehyung

13: rappelle

ACT 2 ⎯ SCENE 4.
HE RECALLS.

TAEHYUNG REALLY HATES COLLEGE. He would be lying if he said that there's no shred of him that wishes he could drop out and do something like travel instead. But he knows that's not possible. He needed money to leave the country, he needed a job to get money, and he needed a degree to be able apply for a job. It's a long process, one that Taehyung isn't too inclined on going through, but it's one of those things that he really can't get out of no matter how much he wants to. Would really prefer spending all day in his apartment working on his artworks instead of sitting in lectures that put him to sleep faster than counting sheep.

Don't get him wrong, he's not at Picasso level or anything, but he's quite good after having only picked up the hobby a year ago. He doesn't know how it happened, but suddenly sketches and paintings started to fill every inch of his apartment. It makes him wish that he applied for an art school instead but he never knew he had the talent, never knew he had it in him.

He loves it, he loves mixing paint and furiously tracing lines on his notebook when he should be reviewing his notes. Taehyung finds comfort in transferring the images he captures with his eyes onto paper. He likes the honesty. He likes how drawing makes him notice the small details about something or someone that he would normally not even spare a glance at. He's not just looking, he's trying to perceive everything from his own perspective, and he thrives on the fact that whatever his hands create on his sketchbook is solely his.

Being an art boy came with perks, but the only one that mattered is that it caved him a path toward the ladies. Girls love it. They love that he's a modern, young, and attractive representation of their fantasy of being an artist's muse. Taehyung finds it amusing, and he would be lying if he said that it doesn't stroke his ego a little bit. What kind of guy doesn't thrive off of girls practically begging for him to get in their pants just because he can draw? The amount of times he's been asked to paint them like "one of his french girls" is overwhelming, and it's always, always after sex.

One, he has never dated or met a french girl before. Two, he's not one of those guys who gets inspired after a good fuck. All he ever does is laugh and tells his current partner sweetly, not tonight, sweetheart. And three, even if he supposes that can be good practice (drawing nude models, that is), he wants to wait it out and sharpen his skills first before venturing into that territory. And god, there's just something about being an artists' muse that drives girls crazy, and it's starting to drive him nuts too.

Taehyung's not looking for a muse. He's not even sure he can call himself a legitimate artist. He's merely just a boy who can draw decently for now. His casual ways have built him quite the reputation on campus, and he doesn't really mind that he's known for being the kind of person he is. Finding a lover is not in his memo. All he wants is someone who can help him fulfill his needs by the end of the night, someone who's not looking for anything serious, someone who's just looking for some stress relief as he is. Someone who can warm his bed without him having to worry about any commitments.

He knows his own history, how many girls he had let down, how many hearts he had broken, and how many times he had fucked up just because he had thought with everything else other than his heart. He never meant to be a flirt, it just comes naturally to him, as if the language of woos and romance is his second tongue. He never meant to hurt anyone, he makes it clear to every girl he had been with to not expect anything from him. It works wonders for the most part, but there are times where feelings (not his) start to get in the way and he's too late to end things before it gets complicated. The only actual relationship he ever had was with hwayoung, and everyone knows how that ended.