random writings.

conflict (context).

The story which was contained in the last chapter, was supposed to be about conflict. Upon reading my piece, my teacher became confused as to what the actual plot was. In the moment of writing it, I have to admit - I had no idea. I had absolutely no idea what it was about. I just had this oppressive image of smoke choking those who I love and hold closest. And so, with that image in mind, and a bunch of sophisticated vocabulary and techniques I had learnt, I began to write. I began to use a character, based off a person I know extremely well in real life, who will probably be wondering why I killed them off. I only had roughly 40-ish minutes, so I wrote a lot less than I may have if I didn't have time constraints. And so I began writing. I found my so-called "hole" in the paper (thank you Stephen King for that phrase) and found myself in that exact situation, choking on the thick ashy smoke. It wasn't until I got the marked paper back, (I had gotten roughly only 87%) that I realised what my intended message was. My message wasn't entirely a message that you could learn from. In reading back my work, I realised that the smoke, in my head, was representing depression. Depression leaves your eyes ruby red from crying, depression is a fake black, depression wants to make you think of death and chaos, depression wants to makes you vulnerable and weak, depression wants you to be lonely. I always worried about everyone I knew, about how they were feeling, due to my depression in itself, and past experiences with people who had depression. I always got concerned that people were going to leave, and that was even raised in the form of people leaving me due to depression. So I extremely unknowingly and without meaning wrote about depression in the form of smoke. Depression is choking, it's paralyzing, it's smothering. It affects all aspects of your life. So, in a way, smoke is very much like depression. Very much so.