The Quirky Tale of April Hale (Quirky Series #1)

2.22: Paper Notes

Because he had just hit a girl.

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22: Paper Notes

I had actually forgotten how peaceful being holed up inside a closed room with no probability of anyone barging in actually is.

After Audra's Moment of Truths, my brain had decided that stalking into my room was the only thing I needed for the world to get better. The clock started to tick in slow motion, and everything that I saw became a blurry motion. I could hear voices, but then my ears were not registering anything to my brain. I couldn't decipher words.

I tried to remember Audra's words, but I didn't even need to try. They were etched inside, and when I closed my eyes, I still couldn't get rid of them.

It was never in my intention to upset someone this much, but I guess when you had a faulty brain, you just couldn't help doing it. The strange thing was, I couldn't really blame Audra.

What was good about me? What accomplishment that I had done to deserve the love that I have now?

If humans were measured by their capabilities, then I would rank on the bottom 1%.

The thoughts of what would constitute of my 1% colleagues started to cloud my head. I lacked emotional trauma that would push me over the edge, and I didn't think I would pull a Hannah Baker by slitting my wrist just to make a point to the people who had contributed to my sadness. My parents had sheltered me well, and I would be way too dissappointed if I didn't get to watch the newest season of This is Us.

For the first time since That Guy left me, my sadness was due to the fact that I wasn't a good enough person to exist in this world. The thought alone surprised me, since I had never been one to doubt the way I had been.

Another thought followed up, and it jolted me right back up.

Maybe I was having an existential crisis.

The idea of having such an ubiquitous crisis made me giddy despite the dire situation. I had spent the last few years concentrating on being broken hearted that I had almost forgotten what it was like to have other problems.

I groped my pants-pocket, and didn't find my phone. That was when I remembered that I had forgotten my phone on the kitchen bar right before my dramatic stalk to my room. Ahh, curse the stars! Would it be funny if I go back to the scene and then take my phone so that I could google 'How to deal with existential crisis?'

But then even the mere notion of facing Audra's face and the others managed to lurch my bladder to a jolt. Oh no. Now I was devoid of my phone and in dire need of going to the toilet.

"April?! April, open the door, please!" I could hear my brother shouting from behind the door. I tried to answer, but then I couldn't produce any sound. My throat became dry and I felt like I had just lost the ability to move my tongue.

"Are you okay?" this time it was Alex. "Can I come in?"

I sat right in front of the door and leant my back there. My eyes were focused on the white ceiling.

The voices of the three men bickering from behind the door was still so prevalent, though.

Quentin: "Are you an idiot?! She's obviously not okay!"

That Guy (trying his best to keep his voice within the minimal decibel): "Well yeah, how could she be when your girlfriend just basically ate her alive!"

Quentin: "I don't understand girls at all. Now one girl is locked up in the room, and the other one has run out from her own apartment."

Alex: "It would be so easy to rob Audra's apartment right now. How can she leave her house with three strangers?"