asphyxiate

05｜thrum

05
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"thrum"

CHARLIE Chaplin once said, 'I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.' For a long time she had wondered about that certain quote and now watching the rain pour down by her shelter under the canopy of one of the small cafes on the streets, it was not any different.

Of someone so accustomed to water, one would think she loved the rain thrumming aimlessly. It was not that she hated it, but she never saw the appeal of it. Maybe it was because she had no tears to cry and therefore no reason to have them washed away.

It was surreal really, but she had never been able to shed a tear after that day, not even when her father died. It was like the tears had dried up unable to form new ones, and instead she was left with a slight hyperventilating breathing whenever her anxieties got the best of her.

If only she could wash away her fears.

She was no pluviophile as watching the rain did nothing to her insides, in fact it only made her colder. Subconsciously, she tugged her sleeves down more, her hands fisting into the fabric, while her face was already covered up under the hoodie. She was leaning up against the wall of the cafe, patiently waiting for the rain to stop while her teeth chewed absentmindedly away on one of the drawstrings, her eyes not once leaving a forming puddle on the road.

It was easier than to meet the passing people's gazes.

Not that there seemed to be many people around as they were inside enjoying the warm crisp air of coffee beans from the cafes, the buttery scent from the bakeries or the enticing smell of exotic fruity perfumes which seemed sprinkled at every clothing store in the neighborhood alluring possible costumers inside.

None of the scents though made her change her mind about leaving her spot as she really just wanted to get home and indulge in the new worlds of words she had picked out from the shelves at the library just one block away.

Wrapped in her own melancholy she sighed and took a step out in the rain, feeling the liquid cold seep through her clothes until it came into contact with her skin like piercing knives. Her breaths became visible as wisps of fog protruded every time she exhaled, the only reminder that her core was still warm though it felt empty. She hunched her shoulders further trying to become as little as possible in hope of that would shield her from the cold a little more.

The rain kept washing away the dirt on the sidewalks, making rushing sounds in her head which seemed to drown out every other noise except for the humming of her demons, but even those seemed somewhat indistinctive as everything around her just merged together into one enormous riot until a voice huskily called out to her.

"Need a ride?" The voice was not demanding, energetic or confident. It was stripped of all those intonations that made her cringe and her toes curl, as they expected and required upbeat, unsubmissive and yet cute quirky responses. Instead this genuine, down to earth, careful tone was used and it was that tone that made her turn and look at the source.

Again, it was the guy from the public swimming center and not to forget from the night before.

Her new neighbor.

She stared at him, once again not hurrying with giving him a response. His hair was dripping with water making his bangs fall over his forehead in dark strings framing his face and highlighting his dark hooded eyes. His leatherjacket glinted even more due to the falling raindrops that fell onto his broad shoulders and trickled down the fabric. His grey hoodie had become an anthracite color as he had not bothered with zipping his jacket. Only his jeans seemed quite plain as they remained their same dark blue color.

"Eve Sarcandor, right?" He asked slowly, his tongue wetting his bottom lip before he bit down on it as if he was somewhat shy about being there, though his eyes remained unwavering and intense as they continued to gaze into hers.

With the same hesitance, she found herself nodding, rotating her shoulder slightly as if she was uncomfortable with her backpack's position on her back.

He nodded before his hand moved to rub his shaved chin, his head tilting to show off his sharp jawline and she wondered why this guy had seemed to take an interest in her. There was something about the guy though that seemed different. Maybe it was his reserved demeanor or just the fact that he actually looked her in the eyes.

Her gaze fell to the ground, watching as her feet made ripples in forming puddles under her soles as she sidestepped.

"Let me drive you home. After all, we're going the same way," he spoke up again as she had turned to walk again, his motorcycle easily keeping up with her pace as his feet kicked lightly at the ground to keep himself upright through the slow pace.

She stopped again eyeing the motorbike, the string of her hoodie being chewed a little firmer.

Somehow this guy inherited all the appeal of a guy one should stay away from, but yet he seemed to inhibit the personality of pure empathy and sincerity. 

He truly was an enigma disguised in a person's body.

She stopped, not really sure why she accepted the offer, but as she walked towards the curb he helped her up on the bike to sit behind him, offering her the helmet that was resting in his lap.

The gesture was gentle, yet spoke volumes which made her surprisingly reluctant in grabbing a hold of his jacket to keep her in place as he accelerated the bike, lurching them forward with calming ease.

The wind ripped at their drenched clothes making her hands even colder as she tried to keep her hold on his jacket, but as she watched the scenery pass by them she found herself not feeling the need to hold onto him.

It was not that she felt uncomfortable with being in this close proximity with him. It was more the atmosphere that coaxed her into leaning backwards. However she was not brave enough to listen to the thin voice coming from her heart and settled with pushing up the protective lens of the helmet, letting the wind spray raindrops on her face.

Maybe this was why riding the beasts of the highways were so intoxicating, as it was a thrilling form of sanctuary away from the tormenting demons that could not seem to penetrate the purring of the engine as it was already a monster itself.

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A/N: It's been pouring down here like crazy these last couple of days. Nothing sets the day off than being awoken in the middle of the night and early morning by the thrumming of water against the plastic recycling bins just outside of my bedroom window. Yes I'm that lucky.

Normally, I love the rain, but when it wakes you up instead of lulling you to sleep, added with a drenched wet dog who hates being dried off, it kinda gets annoying.

So please crispy summer air, please bless this tiny country with just a little ray of sunshine.