As you can probably guess from the title, this book will mainly be filled with incoherent rants topped with colorful language, but if that's not your thing, there's also some short stories, recommendations, and more potentially intriguing things.
So...
(first off, if you didn't understand the title, I'm ashamed and we need to talk)
(second off, there's a lot of memes in this part and it's unedited so good luck)
NOW.
Let's talk about bitches who lie over the dumbest shit, okay?
This rant popped into mind because of what happened to me earlier, actually, so in order for you guys to understand IT'S STORY TIME.
Now... ya girl here doesn't like cockroaches okay. I don't fuck with them, no thanks. Honest to God, any time I see one I gag. Literally gag. They disgust me, and I may or may not have a slight phobia of them. I actually get chills down my spine. Do y'all understand now my hatred for them? If I could do away with any bug, and I mean any bug, it'd be cockroaches. WITHOUT. A. DOUBT.
Anyways. The reason I mention the little fuckers is because one decided to invade my home last night. My sweet, clean home. It was like almost one in the morning, mind you, so everyone was asleep except me (typical). I go to use the bathroom before bed, as per usual, and I look in the mirror as one does...
THIS BITCH WAS AS LONG AS MY INDEX FINGER, Y'ALL, I'M NOT KIDDING.
HE'S JUST FUCKING CHILLING OUT IN THE CORNER OF MY BATHROOM CEILING LIKE HIS ASS WAS INVITED OR SOME SHIT.
IMAGINE SEEING THIS NASTY BASTARD:
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JUST HANGING OUT IN A PLACE MEANT FOR SERENITY AND PRIVACY LIKE.
So you know what I did? I pulled a:
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I told myself I could hold my pee until the next morning. I wasn't about to try and kill the thing and it land on my damn head, NO THANK YOU.
So I went back to my room, back to fanfics as I do, ya feel.
And I drank some more water.
And I realized I had a daMN COCKROACH ON THE LOOSE IN MY HOUSE.
Here I am looking at the corners of the ceiling in my room, ready to fight a bitch. And I realized I had to pee pretty bad, so I grab some perfume and creep my way back to the bathroom. No joke, y'all, I entered like this:
