Gangleader's Lost

7- DIE

                               Jinx
Unedited
                      
              .      Chapter 7- DIE

YOUR 17 AND preparing to get your heartbroken. Your wearing lipstick along with all this other makeup that you swore just a year ago, that you never would. You lingering at your locker that's across the hall from the boy you likes class, even though yours is in the other building and you know your going to be late, but you do it any way. After months of said boy, pretending like your don't exist you finally find the right skirt that's short enough to get his attention. He asks you out and your so fucking thrilled because you think he really likes you, even though he doesn't know you.  You spend hours and hours in front of the mirror combing every strand of your hair out and trying on every dress you own and yelling at yourself not to be such fuck up, like you  always are. After much emotional abuse you caused to your own being he finally arrives half a hour late while you sat and waited with your phone clutched in your hand waiting for the slightest buzz of his text. He tells you look  hot instead of pretty but all the same you get that fuzzy feeling in your stomach.  He shows you his car and your impressed because you've been taking the bus since the first grade. He smooth talks you into thinking that somehow your reservations got canceled and you should go to his house instead.... Yada Yada this and that, you already know what happens. He kicks you out the next morning and your crying because you thought he loved you, but the awful to God truth is he doesn't know love. He only knows pain, and he inflicts it on everyone he touches. Your 18 and lost and no longer no how to trust anyone and everyone always ask you why your so stuck up and bitter and they don't care that your dying on the inside because you learned how to not show it on the outside.

This story doesn't apply to me of course,  because something tells me you've already read my story,  but it applies to many other young girls and I wish I could save them. Save them from the heartbreak because it's honestly not worth it. There's so much more that's out there in the world to see and do and I'm only saying this because I wish someone would have told me. Not that I regret it or anything. But I can't help but feel the built up resentment towards Ace because he's the reason why I can't love Fletcher. Because you can't feel the same love twice. And Ace's love had no depth or limit, it was boundless and unruly. And I allowed myself to fall for him.

I had just arrived at my old house that my mother now lives in alone, to notice she has yet to come home with her boyfriend. And as childish as it may be I gaged at the word boyfriend when it is applied to my own mother.

Everything looks the same. It's like after all these horrid years everything stayed the same and this unknown creep of fear crawls on the back of my neck when I think that maybe I stayed the same to. Because I could never be that girl again, the obedient naive one.

I'll rather die.

I had just finished unpacking my light bag in the spare bedroom when I heard three solid knocks on the door, and I run to it thinking  it's my mother but then I halt mid hand on door handle when I realized  my mother wouldn't knock on her own house door.

My eyebrows crease together as I turn the doorknob and  slowly crack the door open to revea-  omg .

It was that moment when everything stopped. And the last thing I saw was dark eyes before my vision was taken over by the oblivion and my head clashed with the tile of the floor.

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