He Told Me To Walk This Way

An Angel of Mercy

I remembered who Cyrinda was. She was the bitch I had started fighting with at the hospital a couple of months ago. Steven couldn’t have stooped any lower. I had always felt intimidated and threatened by her. She was about sixteen and stunningly gorgeous. She more than lived up to her last name of ‘Foxe’; she was a fox in every sense of the word.

“That’s just fucking beautiful Steven.” I said, emotionally paralyzed.

I stood there in the doorway, kind of waiting to see what he would say. I wanted to see remorse in him. I wanted to know that Steven was sorry.

“Ginger, please, can I talk to you for a minute? I was weak and…”

I turned around and walked right out the door, the sheets still lying on the floor of Steven’s apartment. As far as I was concerned, this place was no longer our, it was his and Cyrinda’s. About half way down the hall, with Steven yelling for me to come back, following close behind me, I turned on my heels. I was now face to face with Steven, the man I still loved, and always would love, no matter what.

“Gin, I love you, baby. I can’t lose you. I need you, Ginger. I’m so sorry.” Steven said as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Part of me had the urge to hug him and kiss away all the tears. No.

“You’ve fucked up Steven.” I said. The words were bitter in my mouth. I didn’t want to say them, but I knew that I had to. Steven was right; he was not ready to be a father, or a faithful fiancé. Which reminded me of something: “Oh,” I said as I twisted the engagement ring he’d given me on my eighteenth birthday, off my ring finger. “Cyrinda will be needing this before I will.” I said coldly as I shoved the ring into his hand.

Steven grabbed both my shoulders, preventing me from leaving.

“You can’t leave me Ginger. I’ll go fucking crazy without you. I need you baby. Please, please, I’m so sorry. Just…give me another chance.” Steven was full on crying now, like I had so many times because of him.

He got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around my legs. A couple of people roamed around the hallway, trying to act like they didn’t notice what was going on.

He pressed his head to my knees and just sobbed, saying he was sorry.

But I knew what I had to do.

With one final effort, I kicked him away and turned around, walking down the stairway. I left Steven behind me, in a broken teary-eyed mess.

The second I was out of his building I broke down crying. I held my head in my hands and I couldn’t stop the tears from reemerging no matter how many times I wiped them away. I loved Steven so much…too much. He had stepped over the line this time, and at least for now, we were over. I couldn’t fathom ever cheating on Steven so I couldn’t understand how Steven could say he loved me, yet the first chance he got he went and slept with Cyrinda. I knew one thing though, if I caught Cyrinda alone on the street, I’d make sure she remembered my name by the time I was finished with her. Oh who was I kidding? It wasn’t her fault. She was sixteen and anxious to get attention from a rock star. 

Once I was in my car, I kind of just sat for a minute, thinking. I placed my hands at the base of my stomach and just felt for a minute. Then, aloud, I said, “I love you in there, baby. You’re going to be just fine and I’ll love you no matter what. We don’t need him okay?” I tried to smile, thinking of the beautiful little person who was already growing inside me.

I didn’t get home until well after dark, as I had decided to drive around for a while, without direction.

I sat in my car, outside of my mom’s house, not really wanting to go inside. So I didn’t. I did the stupidest thing I could think of. I sped off to Joe and Elyssa’s apartment.