He Told Me To Walk This Way

Get Your Wings

Aerosmith went months without a single show or call. They were getting depressed; partying all the time. My mom even found out about me doing drugs and threatened to give us all the boot. We promised to stop but of course we were lying. If you’re wondering what happened with the whole Joe/Angela/Elyssa thing, I can tell you that to this day Angela has nothing good to say about Joe Perry. He left her for Elyssa, the girl he “met” at Monty’s party. The guys are still living with me and my mother. Angela and I haven’t been hanging out as much but we’re still best friends. Ever since Aerosmith stopped getting gigs, it seemed like life itself had been put on ice. I guess that brings us to our current place and time.

I rolled over on my bed and looked out the window. It was raining outside and it looked cold. Steven was lying next to me, but he wasn’t holding me. Lately our relationship had become strained. Without any shows, Steven felt lost. He was becoming discouraged as a musician and had even attempted to get a job as a gas station attendant. I started my morning routine casually and mechanically going through each step as I did every day when Joe came into my bedroom unexpectedly. I was reminded by this that my mother wasn’t home, and wouldn’t be for another two weeks. For once, I wasn’t mad at him and I was able to talk to him civilly. “What’s up?” I asked happily.

“Steven oughta be able to answer that better than I can.” He laughed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Take a look at your demon of screamin’.”

I looked at Steven but he didn’t look back at me. Something else did. This something was nearly ten inches long and hidden by Steven’s baby blue boxers. I tried to stifle my laugh but to no avail. “So what else is up Joe?”

“Okay, I swear you’re gonna think I’m lying but guess what? Wait-wake Steven’s lazy ass up!”

I shook Steven until he woke up. He looked into my eyes and my heart skipped a beat. His eyes had a way of doing that to me no matter what. I loved it though. “Babe…Joe says he has something to tell us. Wake up.”

Steven rubbed his eyes and looked down at the big ten inch in his boxers. He covered it with a blanket and when he saw my face, trying not to laugh, he said, “What? What’s so funny? Why don’t you quit laughing and help me get rid of it?” He winked and started tickling me.

“Oh for fuck’s sake get a room!”

“We have one but you’re in it!” I yelled, playfully, hugging Steven to show that I was on his side.

“Whatever, listen, I have some totally awesome news.” Joe paused for dramatic effect. “Okay…Clive Davis, the president of Colombia Records. He said he wants us to make another album. He said he’s disappointed with us for not doin’ shit for so long but he wants an album. Isn’t that amazing? He said this dude named Jack Douglas will be our record producer.”

I was amazed, shocked even. This was the best news that we’d gotten in so long. I looked at Steven who was smiling more than he had in months. “No fucking way. Joe! Joe fuckin’ Perry! We’re gonna make it!” He got up and started jumping on the bed. I was glad to finally see him happy again.

Just then Tom came bursting into my room. He was sweating, smiling, and panting. “Joe did you tell them about the pho-oh never mind. I see Steven’s taking the news pretty well.”

“He’s not high is he?” Joe asked, jokingly.

“Nah, he does that when he’s high and when he’s straight.” Tom replied.

“I see.” Joe walked out of the room, but before he left he said, “Don’t let that dude party too hard, okay?”

“Joe shut up! It’s like noon. And besides, you’re the one who always gets him going. They call you two the Toxic Twins for a good reason.” I said, looking in the mirror at my tired face. Although I didn’t look pretty exactly, this news had definitely given me a fresh, new, healthy glow.