Someone Like You

Chapter Nineteen

"I'm happy."

"That's it?" I blurt. He nods. "Be more expressive, dude. You should say that more than that."

"Like what?"

"Like, you're not just happy but very happy – extremely happy. That you feel like this is the best day of your life or something. Just say something more than 'I'm happy'."

He looks at me with a straight face. "I actually don't know what to feel right now. I am overwhelmed. All I just wanted was for our team to win – that's more than enough, but here I am, awarded as the MVP of the decade. I don't know." He says with a seriously looking deeply into me. "I don't know what to feel. I'm just happy."

I smile at him. "That's it!"

He chuckles.

"By the way, how did you know about this place?" I ask.

He smiles bitterly all of a sudden. He looks pained even when smiling.

I bite my lip. Did I say something wrong?

He gets silent for a moment, looking somewhere far. The temperature suddenly drops. I don't know if it's the night breeze or it's because of Alexander.

"As I told you before, I had a little sister." He starts talking. "She was two years younger than me. She was fragile. We've consulted a lot of specialists but no one could explain what disease my sister had. Anyway, one day when we were on our way from the hospital, we got lost and somehow, found this place. She told my father to stop because she saw an angel. We followed her until she led us here. We were amazed by the place because it was – I mean it is very beautiful. Since then, a day won't pass that we won't go here. Most of our most memorable times were spent here."

"Why did she die?" I blurt unknowingly. He stays silent looking at somewhere I can't reach with a painful expression painted on his face. I know it's all too late and all I could wish is that I should have not said those words. It was a mistake. "You don't need to answer that." I fake a laugh.

There is an awkward silence between us and it's driving me insane.

"It's okay." He whispers.

"You really don't need to, you know. I was just saying random things. Don't mind me."

"It's okay. Really. It's not that it's a secret."

"You sure?"

He nods and smirks. "This happened seven years ago. I just got home from basketball and immediately went to Edith's room to tell her that my team won the game. When I entered, she was there lying on the floor breathing heavily hugging herself in pain. Instead of rushing to help her or call my parents or someone else, I just stood there." He says the last words between clench teeth. "I saw her breathe. I saw her struggle for her breathes - those long and deep breathes. I witnessed as the interval between those breathes becomes longer and longer until it did not comeback at all." Tears hanging from his eyes glitter. "I was standing right in front of Edith. I watched my little sister die!" He put his face on the palm of his hands as his shoulders shake and his voice cracks.

It was already getting dark and the light from the rising moon is not enough to illuminate the place. There is no lamp post anywhere. Everything is hardly recognizable, but his sadness is crystal clear.

"I watched her die. I let her die." He says between sobs.

My eyes heat up. For five years, has he always been blaming himself for the death of his sister? I've always been wondering what mystery his beautiful eyes hold. Now I know it is sadness from just watching his loved one die in front of him and anger for himself for doing nothing. Suddenly, tears came pouring from my eyes.

I cup his face with both my hands and make him face me. "I'm not good at advises and talking so I might fuck this up." I warn him. He just looks at me in the eye and says nothing. "Alexander look, seven years is a hell lot of time. You should not get this hard on yourself. I understand that you blame yourself for not doing anything but think about it, you were still young that time. You don't know what to do and you were taken over by surprise. If I were you that time, I might have done the same thing. I know Edith was important to you but you need to accept that fact that she's already gone. Stop blaming yourself for the things that happened five years ago. Stop being hard on yourself."

"No. No. No." He sounds frustrated. "You don't understand. I could have done something. She could still be here if I wasn't shitty before. It's my fault. I let her die. I let –"

I pull his face to mine until my lips found his. I don't like hearing him say such painful words. It kills me watching him in pain. He's in so much pain for a long time. I wonder how I could make those pains disappear. I wonder how I could make help him move on from this very deep and painful experience.

I kiss him, slowly moving my lips against his. His lips are soft and sweet. I continue on moving my lips until I feel him respond. He holds my chin and lifted it a bit. I grab the chance and wrap my arms around his neck.

Our kiss becomes deeper and deeper. His tongue slowly enters my mouth, invading it with full passion.

It lasted for so long that we are both breathless as our lips separated. That was the longest and most passionate kiss I've ever had.

As I open my eyes, they immediately meet his eyes. He's looking at me deeply with an expression I can't read. He slowly shifts and moves his face near me. I instinctively close my eyes. I can feel his breath on my cheek. I am waiting for his lips but they never reach mine.

"I think we need to go." He says instead and removes his hand on my chin.

I open my eyes. His face is still close but not as close as I wanted it to be.

"Ah? Why?" I answer.

"Just – let's just go home."

"Hey what's wrong?"

"This is wrong. Let's go home, Melissa." He shakes his head. He removes my arms from his neck and stands up. "I'll wait for you in the car." He says leaving me alone.

I look at him with big eyes and mouth hanging open. I follow him with my gaze as he walks away.