Different (Jack Gilinsky)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

We were back in our hotel room and I couldn't stop smiling. I had no idea why, but my mouth just wouldn't stop curving upwards and I found myself holding my face in my hands when I remembered the events from last night. He makes me feel this way. All bubbly and giddy. I hate it. But I love it. I love it so much.

I hate it because just as fast as these feelings came, they could leave twice as fast and leave me cold. Colder than before. Leave me hating the world more than I already did, hating everything worse than before. I don't want that and I'm scared. I'm terrified of what's to come. I promised myself I wouldn't feel this way again. Yet here I am. Breaking my promise. I knew I needed to open up and tell Jack of my past if I truly wanted to let him in. But do I? Do I really want to let him in? Because thinking of all the terrible things that would happen if it didn't work out, truly worries me. But then again, what about all the beautiful things that could happen if I did open up? Life is all about taking risks and chances. I think this is where I have a life changing decision to make. Leave the comfort of my solitude and not risk heartbreak or risk it all by giving my heart to this guy? Would it be too soon? Do I even care?

I looked over at my mom and sister. They were fast asleep. I breathed in, closing my eyes. I couldn't believe I was about to do this. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and went to Jacks number, texting him: "Meet me at the pool. We need to talk."

I reread the message nearly fifty times and breathed in and out before sending it. There's no going back now.

I tried my hardest to not make any noise as I put on some slippers. I grabbed the room key and made my way downstairs.

I was now at the pool and he wasn't here yet. I stared out at the water and let the thoughts overtake me. What if he hadn't gotten my message? What if he got it but ignored it? What if-

"Faith?"

I looked over at him and our eyes met. The blue from the water reflected upon his flawless face and I stared at him, not saying a single word. This was really it. I was going to tell him everything. I think this is too soon. Way too soon. But I want to be reckless and not care about anything. Just for one night. However, this night could potentially change my life forever. I should've thought about this better. Stop it, Faith. Live in the moment. This is you. Here. Right now.

I sat down on the cold ground and Jack followed my actions. My head tilted and I stared at the water. Words just wouldn't come out. Jack was patient though and I loved that.

I opened my mouth but closed it. Why couldn't I just speak? I'm such an idiot.

A cold gust of air gently flowed, blowing my hair back and I shivered, looking up at Jacks eyes, "Don't make me regret this."

He looked at me confused but nodded, parting his lips slowly,"I won't."

"It was Freshman year," I began, "I was antisocial, just like I've always been. But... This junior. He... His name was Jace. He talked to me. Made me feel special. I didn't know I wasn't the only one. I thought he liked me. I was stupid. I admitted to him that I liked him. A lot. I tried kissing him. It was stupid, I know. But I was convinced he would reciprocate. He didn't." Tears were streaming down my face as I remembered how stupid I once was. Still am. Because I miss him. "He told me he talked to me because he felt bad for me. He said he would never kiss me and he never talked to me again."

My hands were in my face as I was now sobbing uncontrollably. I was an idiot. Why was I crying? That happened nearly three years ago. I had to get over him already.

Two hands gently parted my hands from my face. Jack placed them around his back and he rubbed my back gently.

His hands traveled up to my hair and he played with it softly then I felt his lips kiss my head. How grateful I was for that, he would never know.

"He was an idiot," he said, "He lost the best thing that could ever happen to him." My glassy eyes looked up to his and he kissed my forehead. I wanted to feel his lips. I wanted him to be my first kiss. But that, I knew, would be too soon.

"No, I'm not capable of loving, I don't think-"

"Faith, in the kindest way ever, please stop talking. What do you think drove you to telling me this story? Hate? No. You're capable of loving. You're capable of so many things. Like making my heart skip a beat over a text message. But you're under appreciated. Please let someone show you how amazing you are, and by someone, I mean me. Let me... Let me be your prince."

Even though that was probably the cheesiest thing I had ever heard; it was also the sweetest.

"I don't want to regret this," I confessed and he nodded, "I'll try my best to make it worthwhile."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that commitment." The words escaped my lips and they were all true. This was all very sudden, but I wanted to be his. I just don't know when the time would be right...

"I will be ready when you are." I felt like those words held more truth than he intended them to.

I hugged him and he held me tight. Why did everything have to he so confusing? Where does this leave us? Will things be awkward now?

"I want to find out every detail about you. I want to know what things make you smile, what amazes you. I want to find out all your silly little habits. I want to know you. You're different from everyone and that's why I want to know. I want to know who Faith Jones really is."

I nodded, "I'm ready to let you know."

-

(Okay so. Jaith or Fack? Lolol I think Jaith. Or idk. Comment if you have a better ship name. Also, I wanted to say thank you. Your comments make me smile so big you have no idea. It's like omfff. Thank you for reading. <3)