Truths Revealed

Truths Revealed -24-

Sirius went back to Harry's room. His godson was no longer on the bed, but was standing at the window, watching the rain. His large emerald eyes held a glossed over, lost expression that tore Sirius' heart.

"Harry?" The boy swiveled around, fear clouding his eyes before it receded into a familiar apprehension.

Sirius crossed the room in a few long strides, and pulled Harry into a tight embrace. After a few long moments, just when he was about to let go, he felt a pair of thin arms wrap hesitantly around his back.

"Pup, are you alright?"

Harry was too tired, sick of the pretences he'd been keeping up. Ever since childhood, he had only wanted to be loved. It had been unfair, watching Dudley being treated like a little prince, while he wasn't treated even like a human. All day and night, he watched on, envious and helpless, as Dudley got away with doing whatever he liked. He could talk back at his parents, get bad grades, even cause trouble for policemen and they never loved him any less for it. He was given everything he wanted, and everyone loved him. While all Harry got was a list of chores and endless pain. It angered him, but there was nothing he could do. For years on end, he had prayed for a family. While other kids asked Santa for toys, he asked for a family. On a few extremely rare occasions, he'd asked his aunt and uncle to be his family. That earned him a world of pain and punishment he would never forget. Ad it was after that, that he began to accept the abuse. Those words, imprinted upon him as a child, destroyed him.

"Harry?" Sirius' voice was so gentle, it broke right through the wall Harry was building around his heart.  He could still hear the angry, loud voices of the Dursleys in his head, and he could hear Sirius. In the end, he didn't know what to do; the affection in his godfather's voice made him feel warm, but the fear gripping his heart was still viciously strong. He gave in to the tears finally, unable to take it any longer, as his arms tightened pleadingly around Sirius.

Sirius couldn't understand what had happened, but he could sense that Harry felt insecure. So he didn't bother questioning the boy, and just hugged him back, rubbing soothing circles onto his quivering frame. It took a long time before Harry finally calmed down.

"Are you alright, pup?" Sirius asked again gently. Harry was tired of lying, so he shook his head.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" Harry thought a little on that, and decided that he did want to tell Sirius. He nodded slightly, still holding onto the man tightly.

"Okay then." Sirius guided them both to the stash of plush velvet beanbags, and dropped into one, which resulted in Harry landing sprawled in his lap.

"It's not fair," Harry said, hating how childish he sounded. Sirius raked a hand through his hair.

"What's not fair, pup?" He asked gently.

"It's always me!" Harry burst out. Sirius suddenly knew that he would not like where this was going. "Couldn't that crazy old man find someone else to haunt? Why'd he have to come after me? Why'd it have to be me in that fake Prophecy? Why couldn't Voldemort have gone after someone else? Even if he was after me, why'd he have to kill my parents? Why couldn't a wizarding family have taken me in? Why leave me with those Muggles? And anyway, I was still their nephew! Why couldn't they have cared about me even a little? Why was Dudley the only one they loved? Why didn't he get punished when he did something wrong? Why couldn't I have had a normal family come with me to get school supplies? Why couldn't they have gotten you a trial earlier, dammit! Why the hell did you have to die as well?!"

Sirius swallowed hard to get rid of the lump that had formed in his throat. Harry's hands were fisted, pounding weakly against Sirius' shoulders, his face still buried in the older man's chest, sobbing.

"Harry, no, look at me," Sirius said softly. "Harry, pup, please look at me, I promise I'm not mad at you."

Harry lifted a tearstained face, and Sirius wiped away the tracks from his cheeks. Harry sniffed, allowing Sirius to pull him up against his chest reassuringly.

"Harry, pup, I can and will answer all your questions, but first, you have to understand something. What's happened, all of it, it's in the past. You've got to keep it there. Don't worry about what's gone behind. You're still young, you can still brighten up your future. I'll be there right by your side to make sure of that," Sirius said. "Okay, let's get around to those questions."

"First off, Albus Dumbledore was, is and always will be a fucking bastard. He probably chose to mess with you because we all respected him, but James and Lily were the only ones who had gotten a kid. Frank and Alice and the others didn't believe in him the way we did. About the fake Prophecy, even though it was a fake, he had to make it sound real. He had hoodwinked a great wizard into going Dark, and he knew how to place the bait. And you were the bait. Also, I highly doubt Voldemort would have killed your parents had they not defended you. Then again, James and Lily loved you with all their hearts. As for how your living conditions were, that is entirely the work of the said madman. He was the Chief Warlock and he could certainly have gotten me a fair trial, but so long as you didn't know that, he saw fit to keep me there. But I'm here now. I'll never leave you alone again."

"I couldn't..." Now that he had started telling Sirius about his insecurities, he just needed to let it all out.

"Couldn't what, pup?" Sirius asked gently.

"I couldn't accept it, w-when you died." Sirius felt his eyes welling up at that simple confession.

"I'm sorry, pup," he whispered hoarsely.

"I... I wanted to kill her. I wanted to make her suffer even when I knew I couldn't." Harry started crying all over again. "I couldn't even do that."

"It's okay. It's okay. I love you. I love you, and I'm here right now, and she's gone, and that's all that matters." Sirius hugged him tightly.

"Y-you're not mad?" Harry asked again.

"Pup, why would I be mad?" Sirius asked.

"'Cause I couldn't ... couldn't..."

Sirius realised what he was trying to say. Couldn't kill Bellatrix. That was... well, absurd. He'd have to kill himself before he could kill that lunatic woman.

"Of course not. Who cares about that frazzled lunatic? Frankly speaking, I'd have left her in Azkaban."

Harry sighed in relief. That had been something that had bothered him for years. Sirius hummed softly.

"Tired, Har?"

"Mhm."

"Then sleep."

Harry found that his eyelids were drooping already. This time, he didn't try to fight off the much required slumber, and just rested his cheek against Sirius' chest, right over the powerful heartbeat. Sirius held him close, humming quietly all the while, until his own head dropped to a side, and his eyes closed.

Half an hour later, a half-asleep Lily walked into the room to coo softly at the adorable scene. She took the duvet off the bed, and pulled it over them as quietly as she could. Harry shifted a bit, almost waking up, but Sirius' arms tightened around him protectively, and he stayed asleep, a soft, content sigh escaping his lips.