Loving The East Girl ✔

four

four

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"When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people. As I grow older, I admire kind people." (Abraham J. Heschel)

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I got to the dorm right in the curfew. I throw away my bag on my bed while relaxing my back with laid it on my bed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath with my body was on my bed and my feet fall on the floor, felt so exhausted. Today was my full packaged schedule compare to the other day. Let alone with two unexpected events that made me want to dig my own grave cause it was so embarrassing. The view from those two events of affection really was haunting me. For someone who never really do and see something like that except from the movies or read it from the book, it was really corrupting my mind and my eyes.

I thought I had to rest for awhile. So, I could do my paper from Prof. Dailey due to this Friday that was sent to his email. It was not even about ten minutes after I closed my eyes, I heard an interruption inside my dorm. It definitely made me sit straigth on my bed then rubbed my eyes to ease the blur view I saw after a short nap, I took a few moment ago. Then, I heard steps closely approaching me somewhere inside my dorm. When the light appeared inside my head, I immediately jumped off my bed and took a few steps backward near the northern window. In case something happened badly because of this intruder, I could escape through the window and jump to the tree near the window. Then go to the police or asking for help from the other students.

A few moment later a feature of the intruder was shadowing the light. Slowly but, exactly not surely—well, what did you expect? I was freaking out at that moment—I raised my head to see the devil himself. And I heard the devil was talking to me. I was just so dumbfounded, wondering inside my head, how on earth someone could enter my dorm when I was so sure that I locked my door tightly? Don't tell me that this attractive guy in front of me was actually a rober or maybe a rapist —please don't! I save my purity and virginity these past few years was not for the rapist to take!!! O Allah, please help me— or maybe the worst he was a murderer? O Allah, please no! I haven't made my mother and my family being the happiest human being on earth. O Allah, please I beg you, I still need a time for my redemption. I'm sorry for all the wrong I made. I'm sorry Ya Allah. I'm Sorry. I didn't realize that I silently crying my eyes out in front of this rober or rapist or murderer who was completely stranger to me. Just by remembering my family. So much for wanting to stay strong.

"Are you crying?", he was asking me with so much worry in his husky voice. I stared at him questioningly with my teary eyes while my tears were streaming down my face, I thought to myself that I definitely never found a robber or rapist or murderer —didn't mean that I ever found a robber or rapist or murderer before that moment in my real life, I meant in the movie and the book that there were never a robber or rapist or murderer who was actually care about their victim, if they were care then they didn't want to attack the victim in the first place, right? Except they were suffering from mental illness. Okay, stop it, Nisa! I was unconsciously doing this when I was nervous or feeling so frightening— who asked their victim that with so much worry if I could add.

Instead of replying him with a straight answer, I chose to defend myself with my reasoning. I didn't know if it would work or not, but, at least I had to tried it. I would never go down without a fight, it was what my prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) always teached me. Then I said unintentionally stuttering my words on the way of my talking while looking at the side of his head —I didn't dare to look at him in the eyes. I was afraid he will see through me immediately— , "Plea-please don't hu-hurt m-me o-o-or ki-kiill me or r-r-rape me or whatever you-you want to do-do to me. You-," I paused my words to exhaled heavily that unconsciously I hold for awhile then, I continue, "You can ta-take whatever things I have. Just plea-please do-don't hurt me physically." At least, I added to myself.

After hearing my request, he gasped searching for the oxygen inside my dorm. And he narrowed his eyes at me when I had my courage to stare back at him —and wow, girls! He was soooo attractive. Well what could I say? I'm still a girl with a hormone inside my body. Girls if you in my shoes right at that moment, I bet you would forget that he was actually a robber, a rapist or a murderer who was inside my dorm the moment your eyes landed at his beautiful dark eyes, and damn his eyebrow was such a caterpillar. Wait, wait, wait, did I just said a robber, a rapist, a murderer? Oh God, Nisa, it was not the time!—, he didn't believe what did he just heard. So, this robber or rapist or murderer asked me again with disbelief, "What?"

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