Who Wants To Live Forever

A Voice In The Night

The castle loomed above them in all its gloomy,ruined majesty like a permanent dark cloud promising a storm that never appears. For all his life Yuuri Katsuki grew up watching that castle, as if he were waiting for something. It held a captivating fascination held by no one else in this village. Everyone else would rather forget it existed at all,if it didn't help bring people into their village. Its sole use these days was to provide seemingly endless material for the stories told to children, tales meant to keep them obedient and warn them of the dangers lurking out in the world. Yuuri heard most of them as a child, bedtime stories from his parents or his older sister. Mari's were always filled with more attempts to frighten her little brother than anything else. Her efforts were largely in vain as even the very young,awkward Yuuri enjoyed spending what most considered unhealthy amounts of time just staring at the place.

What did he expect? That the stories of demons making that place their home were true? That if he'd misbehaved as a child he would be snatched away in the night,taken there and become their next meal? None but the children believed any of that nonsense. The castle was just a part of a history forgotten by the villagers, a history they replaced with their own imagination. It was only that, a massive stone building sitting high on the mountain looking down on them in all its crumbling majesty. Even in the waning light of late day it seemed to be that oppressive,threatening dark cloud. He was staring at it right now, gazing out the window of his room at his family's inn. It was the only one in this village but travelers were rare, usually only traders and travelers wanting to see the castle and hear the stories. The locals thought it amusing how much visitors would be so eager to hear whatever fantastical story any of them could conjure up.

He picked this room when he turned 17 and was old enough to start learning how to manage the inn. His sister had reluctantly taken him under her wing, it was she that truly ran the place now. Without her they would have been out on the street by now. Among the sounds on the streets outside,beyond the noises of carts,horses,voices and the near constant clang of the village blacksmith he heard his sister. Her voice brought him out of his reverie.

"Yuuri, dammit listen to me and get down here!" his sister sounded as if she'd been calling him for awhile. "We need to get ready for the dinner service!"

That caused him to scramble away from his window,hurry out of his room and down the main stairs to where she waited outside the kitchen door looking irritated and tired. Yuuri felt sorry he made her wait,she put her all into this place. It was her life.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you," he tried to apologize. "I was just..."

She rolled her eyes in frustration. "Yeah,I know........what is it about that ancient ruin and you. " she was angry, "Your mind needs to be on your duties or you'll never learn how this place runs and I will be left to handle it on my own for the rest of my life. "she opened the door,holding it for him to pass by her. "I do not want that Yuuri,do you understand?"

"Of course not,..sorry.." he hurried past her and into the kitchen. As Mari said it was time to get ready for serving dinner,time to prepare for the night as well. Candles must be lit in their lanterns, secure the inn and the small stable and light a fire in the hearth against the mid Autumn night's chill wind.

It was more a tradition than anything else now, this closing up shop and securing the inn for the night. Few people wandered around after dark, not generally because of the stories. It was something you just did,as your parents had done and their parents before them had done. The woods between the village and the mountain was dangerous especially now with winter on the way. Wolves would be out, wild dogs, other wild beasts that hunted in the night along with thieves and the like. It might be a tradition, but it was a useful one. No one doubted that truth. Like the fact that no one,not even the curios travelers, made their way up the path that led to the ruins. It was too dangerous,the place was crumbling apart and the path tricky to follow.

If one dared to try it was during the daylight and never alone. There were stories of what happened if you didn't follow advice, tales of people disappearing, never to be seen or heard from again, of bodies that fell off the cliffs all broken,partial eaten by wolves and sometimes not bloodied at all. As if they held no blood left in their body to spill after the fall. His mind continually wandered to that place as he forced himself to keep up with his sister and pay attention to what she was saying. This was important,he knew that, his family depended on him.

Sometimes he felt like a complete failure. That he would be the one to allow his family to lose this place,their home,their source of income, something that had lasted for generations. He wasn't sure he wanted to stay here anyway, unable to shake the feeling that he wasn't meant for this. He had nothing else,though, a fact that Mari reminded him of quite a lot lately. Yuuri was 24,unmarried and basically unskilled. The unmarried part bothered his mother more than his inability to grasp the basic concepts of inn management. There was time for him to learn the former,but the latter concerned her greatly. She wanted him to be happy and not spend his life alone. She loved her children and her husband. Yuuri appreciated that love but found himself wondering at times if he truly deserved it.

It was late when his duties were completed and the inn was shut for the night. Yuuri had cleaned up with a bucket of water well outside, changed into his white linen long nightshirt and laid in bed staring out the window. Tonight the castle was illuminated by a nearly full moon, adding a somewhat ethereal glow surrounding its grey form. Once it had been magnificent, he decided, shining towers, ornate rooms lit by candles and people in fine clothing throughout. His imagination brought him visions of how it might have been, especially the massive ballroom he saw often in his dreams. There was music, laughter, people in beautiful gowns and coats, dancing and a balcony overlooking the night. It was always the same, flowing up from the depths of his very being more and more each year that passed.

A moonlit night like this one, so many people and voices, all the glittering finery of wealth on proud display. Then he was always there, a tall,handsome man,lean muscled with long platinum colored hair looking at Yuuri with aquamarine eyes that captivated his soul, captured it as well. The vision seemed to become clearer with time as well, lately he swore he could hear the music and the voices, feel the polished marble floor beneath his bare feet and hear the footfalls of the man as he walked with slow confidence toward him. He knew he should be waking up. He never could wake up ,not yet. Every year that passed brought something new to this dream and the past couple years it had become........uncomfortable.

Caught by those eyes he found himself unable to move,unable to speak, stuck there in nightshirt and bare feet watching as the man walked ever closer. He seemed to be the only one noticing Yuuri's presence. The man stopped only a handful of steps away, smiling in a way that caused a chill to run down Yuuri's spine as he held out a slender pale white hand to him as if wanting Yuuri to take it. To allow this strange man to lead him somewhere Yuuri wasn't certain he ever wanted to go. It was always the fear that came first. The wish that he would wake up, unsure if this was a dream since it felt so very real. He could smell the man now, an alluring mixture of forest,rainwater and roses. He wanted to move,to cry out for help.

But he couldn't. It was always the same. The fear came first.

After the fear came the pleasure.

Waves and waves of it now, a continuous assault on body and mind, so strong, so indescribable and intense and so good he thought his heart might stop.He had grown to want this, even if it was only a dream,he needed it. If a night passed without he found himself becoming sullen and annoyed. It was good he had no voice since he would be screaming out so loudly he would doubtlessly be waking the entire inn. He would admit to being addicted if he dared tell anyone, there wasn't a single experience that matched this. All of this while those eyes watched him, sparkling with his own pleasure. The man enjoyed playing this way,enjoyed seeing how far he could take Yuuri before the darkness of sleep finally claimed him, wanting his victim to beg wordlessly for more.

All this and the voice calling his name.

"Yuuuuuuuurrriiiiii......" a call,a plea that forever urged him to take that offered hand.

In the aftermath he lay exhausted,pressed to his limit and beyond once again. It would be better if he hated it. Better if he didn't believe he'd gone insane. Better if he could talk to someone,that they would listen and help him.

Better if he actually wanted it to stop.

But he only wanted more.