Freaking Witches

Point of No Return

"Wha-what happened?" Dean stammered blearily. He was still trying to get his barring and grasp onto reality. The darkness of hell still lingered at the back of his mind despite himself.

"You were having a nightmare," Cas explained, "So I woke you up."

"Oh right," Dean hummed. He had been right; it was just a dream –a very vivid one- but a dream nonetheless. "Thanks, Cas."

"Are you alright Dean?" Castiel pressed, still sounding worried. Cas placed a soothing hand on Dean's shoulder, warm and reassuring. Human touch was such a nice feeling. In hell, he had been left to suffer alone with his thoughts. Castiel's touch reminded Dean that he really was back on earth. It gave Dean something to grasp onto and keep him grounded.

"Yeah, I'm okay Cas," Dean lied, not meeting Castiel's eye "I just need some water or something."

Dean wasn't really ready to discuss what had happened in hell or his latest nightmare. He was sure that there'd be plenty more nightmares to look forward to. Dean didn't think he'd be able to talk about them right now, or maybe ever.

With a sigh, Dean resumed his attempts at disentangling himself from the blankets. However, Cas stopped him again and said, "Stay. I'll get some water for you."

Dean wanted to protest and just get the water himself, but the look of insistence on Castiel's face changed his mind. Cas was not going to let him leave this bed, and Dean was too fucking exhausted to argue. "Yeah, okay," Dean mumbled, trying to stifle a yawn behind his hand.

Cas leaned closer to Dean and placed a soft kiss on top of Dean's head. He leaned into the contact, relishing the feel of Castiel's love. Much too soon, Cas pulled back, offering Dean a small smile before turning he stood and walked off.

After Cas left, resumed his efforts to get free from the blankets. This time, he was far more successful and was able to get loose from the suffocating sheets. Using his feet, Dean shoved some of the extra blankets to the end of the bed before moving to sit up more comfortably. Now that he was alone, the remnants of his dream began to drift back into Dean's thoughts. Instinctively, his hands fluttered to rest on his round stomach where his daughter was growing inside. His palms looked so small and breakable against his clothed stomach.

Long healed scars littered the back of his skin, the white lines marred his freckled skin and showed every cut, bite or branding it he endured. Although this female body was not really his, it still had all the same marking that his male body had. Each scar had a story that told of past hunts, failed or succeeded, of lives saved and lives lost, of cherished moments that had long since faded into forgotten memories. Even though this body was not truly his, it still held who Dean was and showed everyone who he was, regardless of what gender he was. Yeah, Dean really wasn't happy that he was still stuck in this body, but he had grown to accept for now. It was no longer just something that was an inconvenience to Dean, this body; this form was essential to the life of his child.

Dean thought back through everything this body had endured. He was mystified by everything he had gone through and still been able to come out in one piece. Before he got pregnant, Dean really didn't care what happened to his body. Well, he did care, but things were different now. Now he had to consider the child that was developing inside of him. Anything that happened to him would affect his daughter.

By some stroke of dumb luck, Dean's stupid trip to hell hadn't hurt the child. Dean didn't think he could have forgiven himself if he had hurt her or God forbid if he had let Crowley get his hands on her. If his daughter had been hurt because of something that could have been avoided, Dean didn't know what he would have done.

Dean sighed and let his eyes trail across his distended stomach. Right now there was a tiny child with ungodly powers growing and developing inside of him. This kid should repulse Dean for being an inhuman creature, but he couldn't bring himself to hate her. Even though he though he still had yet to meet his child, Dean already loved her. He wasn't really sure when his feelings towards the child had changed, but Dean knew he would do anything to keep her safe. The idea that he actually loved this child was a strange, uncomfortable thought for Dean. All his life he had been raised to kill monsters and anything that wasn't natural. Yeah, over the years he learned that hunting monsters didn't have to be all black and white, but still, this child was technically a monster too. She would be dangerous, possessing powers that were strong enough to doom the whole planet. He loved something he was supposed to hate and that weighed heavily on Dean's conscious.