Twice in a Lifetime (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 46. Misleading.

I was obviously not good at this stuff.

It was barely morning and my brain refused to shut down, thoughts about the past and what a few hours would bring kept creeping into my head. Facing my mother, and my father together, in one room. It sounded like a horror movie to me.

I'm not regretting my decision though. It was the path I chose to go. Whether it's for the last few months, maybe weeks or worse, even days before the end of her life, I owed it to her. She gave me this life. To experience it, to experience hardships and go through obstacles and meet the man that I loved. When I pushed all my hatred aside, I felt a little weight taken off my chest. Even though I might not be able to forgive them fully, at least I could let her leave in peace.

Rising from the bed, I hauled my body off the large mattress and walked to my suitcase, tugging out my worn down running shoes, a black pair of loose fitting workout pants and a dark blue zip up sweater since the morning air was always brisk here. Maybe a good run will clear my head and distract me for a good hour. Running was one of my favorite physical activities since my recent minor depression. It not only benefited my health, it allowed me to have a moment of solitude, to rid myself of reality for a certain time, and it was just me against the pavement.

***

I watched nothing but vast fields of grasslands pass by from the passenger window as Winnie drove Elliot and I to our parent's country home. The countryside was so much more graceful than the city. It really had been too long since I've returned to our vacation home. The lush green grass, the white picket fences, the sloping valleys and hills Winnie and I used to roll down on.

I loved living in big cities like London and L.A. but there was something about the country air that was extremely comforting and welcoming. We've been on the road for at least a good hour meaning only one more to go which I was happy and stressed about. Happy because I hated long car rides and couldn't wait to plant my feet on stable ground. Stressed because I would have to face my parents in person.

How would my mother react to see me? Did she know I was coming? Would she throw me out? How would I act around her, someone who can barely do anything other than get up to use the toilet? Was she really that weak? How can I do things for her when I can barely take care of myself? Plus I've never been around sick people before. I'm not confident about my hospitality skills, but it shouldn't be that difficult - hopefully.

"You excited to see Granny, Elliot?" Winnie asked while glancing at the rearview mirror to her son in the back seat. He looked even cuter today than yesterday. The little blonde boy dressed himself in a light blue button down, a grey cardigan, and khaki pants. Rich kids dressed better than me. I just wore my white cable knit sweater with some blue skinnies. It looked nothing as matching as Elliot nor his mother, who was wearing another dress similar to yesterday's but in a deep plum tone.

"Yes! I can't wait." He answered his attention on the rearview mirror.

"What kind of present did you get her, Elliot?" I asked, turning around to face him. He was holding a small brown box with a shiny red bow on it.

"Shh...it's a secret only Grandmama and I can know." He said while putting his finger to his small lips. I throw a playful tantrum but he found it amusing - reminding me of how Javadd would also be amused for pouting.

"You little stinker." I teased, making him burst into giggles and I eventually joined him. His laugh was very contagious.

"You are a horrible influence on my son." Winnie scolded me but I knew she wasn't being that serious.

"No one has called him names before?" I asked.

"No. His father doesn't allow it. He's very insistent about keeping him well behaved."