Delinquent Daisy (Book 5)

Chapter 1:

I preferred my private home. No one knew I had it, not Amber and not even Beth, and it was very small and cosy. But because I was being picked up by the limo my social home would have to do.

I parked in my garage where another three cars sat. Such a waste of money. Unfortunately my ex-boyfriend liked nothing better than spending my money on something as material as cars. I didn’t mind. I had plenty of more money where that had come from but it just amazed me how he had managed to buy three cars each over a hundred grand in under a month. The sex was good but I liked my money.

I walked through the garage and up the stairs to the house. It was nice and simple. Light hardwood floors, sleek black couches, white walls and a wall of windows facing the beach. I opened the back door and went outside. I had a few hours to kill until the limo came to pick me up.

I grabbed my packet of cigarettes and took one out, lighting it up and placed it between my lips. I breathed in the toxic smoke as I leaned on the railing.

The sea was so … free and mysterious. It was complex, all connected but different beaches had different waves. I sometimes wondered what the ocean would say if it had a voice. It would probably scream. I felt like screaming. I always felt like screaming but I had no one to scream to.

Sighing, I turned my phone on to see a text from Amber reminding me to be ready by three thirty. I looked through my phone photos and saw him. I missed him already. It had only been a few days but he was the only person I loved in the world. I would do anything for him.

My phone started ringing and I declined. It was only Beth and I didn’t feel like talking to her. She was too cheery all the time. She was like a constant ball of happiness and I liked her, I did, she was my best friend after all, but right now I didn’t feel like acting cheerful. She would nag me to act cheerful and I really just wanted to be in my own little pity party. I wasn’t going to see him in three months. I wanted my pity party.

I always preferred to be alone and whenever I told someone they were all ‘no one likes to be alone’. Well I did. There’s just something nice about being alone. Maybe it’s the silence or maybe it was just because when I was alone I could do what I pleased. But I loved to be alone. I got into the best business.

Show biz, as some people would call it. Always made sure I was around people. It was great but I did what I had to do. Amber said I should’ve become an actress instead of a singer because I’ve managed to make America and the world think that I’m a little goody two-shoes. I was far from it.

I smoked, I got drunk and I partied but it was all under the radar. I never wore slutty clothes, mini dresses or skirts were not in my vocabulary and what was cleavage? I never spoke badly about anything and apparently I was ‘likeable’. I acted like the kind of person a mother wanted their daughter to look up to. I would have liked nothing better than to express to the public how I really was, I was seriously over the floral dresses, but he would see and I didn’t want him thinking badly of me. So I acted.

I acted sweet and humble. I acted respectable. I acted like I wasn’t the biggest disappointment to the world. I acted the opposite of all my natural instincts. If I wanted to be sarcastic I acted sweet. If I wanted to scream I stayed silent. I just smiled through everything and hoped that no one could see how much it was killing me on the inside. I acted so much that I felt dead on the inside. I found myself becoming so hollow and empty. I couldn’t even remember the last time I did something that was actually interesting.

I partied discretely and I toured and travelled but none of it was interesting. The only friend I had was Beth and Noah but he was never around but it wasn’t his fault. He had no control over it. I wished I could take him with me but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed. I’d offered so many times but the answer was always no and every time my heart was crushed. I’d hoped that one day I would be allowed to take him with me but that was just wishful thinking.