The Difference Between You And Me {Petekey}

Chapter nine

Going to war was all Mikey could think about the next day. Every time he thought he was done overthinking all of the possibilities, another one popped into his head. How would he explain himself to Gerard if he ever saw him again? What would he do once he got back? Could he see Lindsey again after coming back? 

He thought until he had exhausted every option, analyzed every possible outcome. He had a piece of paper in front of him detailing what could come of every single possibility. None of them gave him a surefire answer as to whether or not he should go, but the more he thought about it, the more okay with leaving he became. 

He gave the sheet of paper one more look-over, reading his own notes, not even knowing what he was thinking of when he wrote down some of them, before standing up. He examined the wall for a moment while he thought some more. If he told Lindsey he was going to go, she would give him a couple of days to say goodbye and everything, right? Probably. He tore his eyes away from the suddenly very interesting wall and headed to search for her.

He found her in her bedroom, sitting on her bed and writing in a notebook. He knocked on the doorframe to let her invite him in, since her door was already open. She looked up at the sound, and he felt a little twinge of disappointment when her face didn't light up like it did when she used to see him. He dismissed it, though, he didn't smile either when he saw her. They both had other things on their minds. 

"Come in," she told him, sliding over to let him sit next to her on the bed. He sat down, she looked into his eyes, and he could see the frustration in hers. This was not a good time for her.

"I just wanted to tell you that I've decided that I'm going to volunteer to fight. In the war," he spoke softly. Lindsey's expression eased a bit and she relaxed.

"Thank you," she said gratefully. "Seriously, Michael, that helps us a ton. But I'm going to miss you, though," she added. Mikey shrugged. 

"I'm not doing much nowadays," he dismissed. 

"None of us are. it always feels like we're doing so much and nothing at all at the same time," she noted, sighing. 'I really hate that you have to go but we really need the money. You're really helping us out."

"I know. And I know I won't have enough money to send you letters but I promise if I get back I'll have a million stories to tell you and everybody else and everything will be fine since I'll have my citizenship and we can... I don't know, I'll enter chess competitions and become a chess god and beat you every time you try to challenge me." Lindsey laughed at that, and it felt so good to make somebody laugh again that Mikey couldn't help but laugh with her, trying not to think about the 'if' that was included in what he said. 

Of course he'll come back. He couldn't not come back. 

- 

Pete was missing Mikey to the point of annoyance. He was actually annoyed with how much he missed him. And he was annoyed with how much he meant to him. 

Gerard was helpful with that, though. He was similar enough to Mikey that sometimes Pete could pretend it was him he was talking to, but he knew that wasn't the healthiest thing to do. He liked Gerard himself, too, though. They even hung out outside of their everyday meeting every once in a while. They were both being paid by Flasch for their work, so Gerard didn't have to worry about making a living outside of  the work he was already doing. He had moved into Mikey's bedroom since his bed was much more comfortable and it just wasn't practical to be sleeping in the living room when there was a bedroom he could use. He didn't get rid of any of Mikey's stuff, though, he wasn't quite prepared to do that. And besides, what if Mikey came back? It would be useful to have those things still in the house in case that ever happened, or at least that was Gerard's reasoning.