By My Side

Almost Done

Bastard yells at me again, reminding me of his promise to go "all 1800s," aka, beat me. Come on, what else could it mean? Lose my phone? I'd live. I'd write elsewhere, but he's going to hurt me. It's in his tone and in his eyes.

"You know how this is gonna end if this keeps up," he growls.

With you six feet under and me dancing on your grave.

Wait, you don't wanna kill him yourself, do you?

...

Edgar?

It's you. It's me. It's Edgar.

Oh God. I really have snapped.

I take a deep breath and do my chores, heading to my room after Bastrad takes all means of writing.

I'm breaking. I can feel it. There's no where else to turn is there? He's gonna beat me, or she's gonna break me. Or I'll get put on drugs and kill myself. There's no way out, is there?

God... you're not up there, are you?

No. If you were up there, you'd HELP ME.

No no. You have to be up there. I couldn't do this if I knew you weren't.

I gag from fear and rage induced naseua. God help me I'm breaking. This is it. This is where I fall apart? Isn't it? I was so close too.

Just two more chapters. I...

No. I can't do this. Leo. Don't give up.

What?

Leo, look, I want control, but... not like this. You can't break yet. You have to keep going.

I can't.

A tear streams down my face.

I can't do it.

If you break, they win.

No.

Yes. Take a deep breath. Calm down. Your pulse is pounding. Please, calm down. If you're going to break, I want to face you in honorable combat first.

Edgar... I can't.

What about your family? Haley and Morgan? What about those who like you? What about your friends? Face me, at least try.

I can't Edgar.

Why!?! You started so strong! I made you strong! Writing gives you strength! Why are you giving up!?! Why are we letting those monster win!?!

Because this obsession is the only thing keeping me alive! You, my addiction to the pen, is the only thing that keeps me going! Why can't you just let me lose!?!

Leo, please, not like this. You're almost to the end. You can make it. Just hold out.

No. There's a gun. I know where it is. I can't kill anyone else but...

Leo, look, we both know that I'm really just your subconscious or something.

And part of my fiction.

Yeah, two birds with one stone. You're the one who doesn't want to give up. I say this not as a character, but as you...

Don't give up.

I'm right.

And now I'm back in character because you know, the fiction.  You were saying?

I can't give up.

That's it!

I won't give up.

Exactly!

I'm going to finish my book.

And what are we gonna do next?

I'm going to look them in the eye, and break them emotionally, and watch as their tears stain the Earth, and laugh. LAUGH!

That's the spirit! Let's kill them!

No!

Eh, it was worth a shot.

I'm just gonna calm myself.

...

Did I just have a panic attack?

Let's see, naseua, me becoming more active, accelerated heart rate... looks like it.

OK. Now, I gotta keep writing...