Both Sides of the World

RE: Grades for Asians +my experience

Yes, grades may seem like something to use to your advantage in the future, but collages nowadays are looking for people with passion for sports or art or something else you can be good at. You don't need to be Tiger Woods if you're playing golf, you just need to be passionate about it and be decent at it. But grades come in handy as well. I'm an Asian as well and trust me when I say this, Asian parents are brutal when it comes to grades. I remembered that I took a test in 3rd grade and I got an F. That's right, and Asian getting a solid, cold, hard F. F for failure. I'll never forget how I began crying so hard in class that I could barely breathe. This event probably had the most lasting effects on me which will be mentioned in later chapters. I remembered the lady who worked at the front office comfort me in the bathroom, telling me that it was going to be okay. It wasn't going to be okay. I was so scared and sad and worried and every negative emotion I could ever feel. The teacher even said aloud to the whole entire class that only two people failed. And one of them was me. I was so angry at myself for failing. I was so worried about my grade. And most of all I was scared. I was scared my parents would yell at me when I got home. I was so scared they would hit me, not let me eat dinner, and throw me out of the house. I was terrified of my own parents. So I did the most cowardly thing I could've ever done. I threw the test away. That's right. I dumped that shit into the recycling bin where it belonged. My parents found out through my teacher and asked me why I didn't tell them earlier. I lied and said that I didn't realize I threw it away with the rest of my other work. But the truth was I was so scared. And that moment when I was crying and feeling so goddamn helpless while clutching balled up tissues in one hand and wiping my eyes with the other was when I first had the thought, "I wish I could die." It was just one thought in one moment, but it changed the rest of my life. And you're probably thinking, "You're overreacting!" But the thing with Asian parents and grades is that they are extremely serious. And if getting an F made me scared of my parents hitting me and I was only in 3rd grade, well then you can imagine how bad it can get... They're slowly getting better with accepting occasional B's, but they used to be super strict since I was a first child. And even if they don't shout at me for getting a bad grade, I beat myself up. Because in 4th grade, I made a promise to myself that I would be the perfect student from then on. And that's my experience with grades. Yep, I had a great 3rd grade year. I'll be talking about later on. But for now, be thankful if you're not Asian, but still try to maintain good grades.

//Written by luckysam78
--4/24/17--