The Teenage Guide To Popularity [COMPLETE]

Chapter 39: Don't Pass Me By,

"I'm confused. You think I should go, but you don't want me to?"

"Yeah, I know it doesn't make any sense, and that I have no right to even ask you that, but I just... I'm just... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even said that. Can you come back sooner?" She looked up at him and waited. For him to decide that they should give it all another chance. For the Earth to pry itself open and swallow her whole. For anything, really, because anything would be better than no reaction at all.

"Carter, I don't know what to say."

Hadn't she said that exact same thing to him a few weeks ago? It used to be easy for them to connect. One of the simplest things in the world for Carter was talking to Kiran. Like second-nature. Was it a bad sign, now, that they couldn't find their ground? Or was it only another obstacle they needed to cross? "Look, I know there's a lot going on with you and your family right now-"

"There is. And instead of worrying about them, I'm here obsessing over you. That's not where my head needs to be right now."

He was right. This problem between them was somewhat laughable in comparison with his family situation. Was she selfish for expecting him to put that aside for her? Probably. She tried to pin-point the exact moment in her life when she turned into this person - the kind that went crazy over minimal crap. The kind that expected everyone around her to put everything aside and focused only on her. She shouldn't have listened to Tala. She shouldn't be here right now. "You're right. You should go."

He didn't respond. He kept on looking at her with that curious, puzzling expression of his.

"I should go too. Sorry for coming here so late. I'll see you when you get back." She began walking backwards, away from him and into the darkness, all the while hating herself for the constant "sorry's". Being the apologetic, passive idiot wasn't her style, so why was she doing it now?

"Wait, Carter-"

"No, it's fine. I swear."

"Carter-"

"I said It's fine, Kiran, don't worry about it. I hope everything's okay with your sister. Please let her know that she's in my thoughts." She turned around, facing the street, and could feel the tears begging to be let out. No. Don't cry. This isn't a big deal. Don't cry. Don't cry. She stopped walking and took a few deep breaths, calming herself down.

"Do you ever stop talking?" He was close. Probably right behind her.

She turned to face him again.

"You know I love you, right?"

There was no resentment this time. No demanding anger. He had just said it. Just like that. Like it was everything in the world yet somehow only an afterthought. Carter wasn't sure what to do next. If she should say it back, hug him, act like everything was fine. But before she could think it over properly, something else took over. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't tell me that, and then leave. Why would you do that to me?"

"But I will be back."

"In six months? What am I supposed to do without you for that long?" She knew she sounded ridiculous. Six months was nothing. Half a year. But at this very moment, six months seemed like a lifetime. Considering their whole relationship had started and reached this point in only a couple of months, she figured anything could happen with more time. He could move on. He could come back a changed person, not wanting anything to do with her. He could even decide that he wants to stay in New York forever.