Hetalia Yaoi Oneshots (And A Couple Other Bits Of Crap) [On Hold]

UKFr-A Deep Dark Denied Secret

The world meeting once again ended in a catastrophic argument between England and France.
Germany angrily muttered under his breath "Those fucking mutton heads, they are fooling no one".
England angrily stormed out in a huff, and France flicked his soft silky blond hair and gave everyone at the table a pissed off look, before hurriedly running after the Brit.

Italy sat in the corner slurping up some pasta, then he noticed France running out if the room.

As he watched him go, Italy suddenly got struck by a brilliant idea.
"I'll follow big brother France and bring him PASTA, everyone likes pasta".

France wandered off in the distance, Italy (trying) sneakily following him not far behind. Minutes later France reached his car. He unlocked the car, opened the door and got inside.
Italy quietly entered the care, and folded himself neatly in the backseat.
France lost his annoyed, angry look and started pulling a gorgeous rape face.
Italy quietly cried to himself, trauma setting in.
"I am magnificent and gorgeous,"
France happily muttered to himself.
Italy was shaking in the back seat.

France stepped out of the car.
Italy looked up.
"England's house? Why England's house? Nobody goes to England's house for lunch, he is a terrible Cook" he whispered.

France quietly snuck around the giant mansion, with Italy closely following behind him (until he stopped to to kiss a royal guard 💂on the nose)
France gliding across the royal hallways, Italy stomping after  him in a giant knight suit that he had slid into moments before.

France looked around him, checking for anyone that might be following, and then took off his slim navy coat and opened a small black Scandinavian door.

"Are you Ready?" France nervously asked the person in the candlelight room.
"Was the Devil born without his virginity?" a voice asked.

France whimpered slightly, muttering a hushed "Yes".

Italy stood in the knight armor, which thankfully was concealed by the shadows. His eyes darted around, trying to see who was in the room. France slowly walked in.
Italy tried follow but still couldn't
Get the one left boot off of his foot.

          Twenty minutes later
             Italy got the boot off!

Italy crept into the room to see England, nude, thrusting into am equally naked France, who was moaning like a whore. Italy watched in horror as France masturbated for what seemed like the forth time, screaming in pleasure as he rose out his orgasm. England had sweat covering almost all his body as his hips buckled up to meet France's again and again, going at an impossible speed.

Italy started at them on wonder for about 6 seconds, before reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

Italy screamed. They suddenly both stared at Italy.
England looked at Italy, horror written across his face, until he sternly wagged a finger at Italy.

"You saw nothing".

Italy stayed completely still, traumatised,before screaming again and running away at about 100 mph.

The Next day...

England and France were late again.

Italy was in the corner rolling around and crying, eyes giving him the image every time he blinked.

Germany sighed to the others "He will not speak, just cry. It is the most terrified I have ever seen him".

Italy sobbed a bit more until he  OUT " BIG BROTHER FRANCE AND ENGLAND ARE DOING SEXUAL ACTS TO EACH OTHER!!! IT'S SCARY!!!"

All the other countries shared a knowing look before simultaneously breaking out into rambunctious laughter, and Germany replies "It was obvious. We have know that since about forever."
Italy whimpers again.
England and France came in, hands breaking apart from a previous hold that they had been in.
"So what's been going on? Have we missed anything?" England asked.

"Oh nothing... New dad" replies Canada, a devious grin on his face.

(This was made by my friend, so it was a little different. I edited it, so... Yeah... Give us a break, it's one in the morning!)