[reviewing] texts to my stunt lad

27

you know when like you want to die but when you're about to go die but someone or something has to get in the way?

well, i've just summarised chris trott for you.

every single fucking time that i headed out to go to that bridge. he was always there. smiling. holding the door for me and wishing me a good rest of the day.

why me?

i'm broken, there's nothing here to like and be nice to! that's not chris trott everyone sees but then i realise it's the one i see and he is this nice, happy guy and it makes me happy for once.

but my god do i envy him. envy that he has the power and mental capability to be happy all the time. i lack that. i miss being able to laugh endlessly 'till the sun rose and then went to sleep and then rose again and saw i was still laughing.

what is laughter?

what is happiness?

so many questions and so little time.

chris trott. he is my happiness.

it's such a shame, he'll never know.