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i let myself down. i never kissed christopher trott. i never, ever did. that was biggest regret. some people regret kissing people but i regret not kissing one.

as cringeworthy as it sounds. i miss his voice, his touch, his laugh especially. i'm stuck in this endless cycle of pain and torture where every time i want to fix something or do something no-one seems to see me.

was this my past life?

is this even real?

am i dead?

is this actually my life?

who am i to joke! i'm alive and well, everyone just chooses to ignore me and my desperate pleas for help.

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