the golden boy \\ kth ff

it's not fine

fine- taeyeon

Eunjin POV
They lie across from each other. I open my mouth as if to scream, but there's no sound except the bittersweet sound of weeps. I told myself I wouldn't cry and that I was fine, but I'm not fine. Against myself, I feel the warm liquid trickle down my cheeks like a sudden downpour. The warmth of my tears pales in comparison, however, to the fiery wrath of the helpless longing in the pit of my aching stomach. I look up as if to relieve this stressful pain and take note of how wonderful and horrible life is all at once. The sky is a beautiful hue of baby blue with specs of gold and purple dancing across it and mingling together in precious harmony. This painful day is finally ending.

The physical beauty of this day contrasts the despair that it also contains,which only serves to anger me. I turn my gaze back to the two bodies. So beautiful yet so cold. A blur of sympathetic faces seem to rush across my line of sight, and though this probably happened in the span of only a few hours, it felt like eternity to me. Yes, everything seemed to drag on pointlessly. It seems like this is gonna happen often from now on. I watch helplessly as the irrelevant faces cry over the bodies. 

Isn't that strange? Their bodies are here but they are not. They themselves will never see this wonderful day with their own two curious, twinkling looking orbs. Their bodies are mere souvenirs, and we merely honor the memory of the people who used to be.

And although its painfully delusional, I swear I saw her beautiful eyelashes flutter, his lips which used to be a light shade of peach stir into a small smile, their hands twitch and itch to hold mine in between their own. I swear I saw them standing and felt them hugging me. 

I swear I saw them alive. 

I jolt awake, drenched in sweat, my back aching only slightly more than the rest of my body. I had fallen asleep on the floor, crying. How pitiful. I wobbled to my feet in the now dark kitchen and painfully staggered to the table to balance myself and to grab my phone. It was now 10:30.

20 new messages and 6 missed calls? When did I get popular?

To my even bigger surprise (not really, I anticipated this), 5 of those calls and 13 of those messages were Taehyung's.

Taetae♡
jin!!
Sent 5:30
jinnie!
Sent 5:31
i'm really sick and i need love and support!!
Sent 5:34

And then it seemed like he had given up for about an hour until he tried again.

Taetae♡
LEE EUNJIN ANSWER ME DAMNIT
Sent 6:13
PABO JINNIEEE
Sent 6:16
Y u no love me :'(((
Sent 6:21
Fine i guess i'll just waste away it's not like you care anyways :'((((
Sent 6:29
Okay eunjin im worried now just call me when you can
Sent 7:01
You better be okay damnit im really debating on whether i should run over there right now but i won't just pls be okay
Sent 7:26

And despite the pain rapidly intensifying across my entire body, I smile at his thoughtfulness because even though it would seem like I was ignoring him, he was persistent in trying to contact me. However, I can't find the energy in my drained body to call him, so I send him a message to calm his nerves instead, because at least one of us deserves to chill out.

나 (me)
Wow you actually worried about me that's charming dollface im fine kid i aPrECiate yOu DArlIng
Sent 10:46
Read 10:46

Well that was quick.

Taetae♡
YOU'RE SUCH A BUTTHEAD I WAS WORRIED SICK.. LITERALLY
Sent 10:47

나 (me)
Heyy I got my butthead surgically fixed you can't mess with me about that )):
Sent 10:48/ Read 10:49

Taetae♡
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ur so lame
Sent 10:49
So nothing's wrong? You're okay?
Sent 10:49

Am I okay?

나 (me)
yeah dollface im fine lol
Sent 10:51

I sigh and waddle like a drunk man to my room, wondering how in the world I'm going to cover all of these bruises tomorrow.