Sidemen Oneshots

Vobi - Quiet ones are the ones that suffer?

A/N - Thank you guys for the massive support, already over 200 reads is incredible. Honestly I am so glad people actually bother to read these. I'm sorry if updates at more inconsistent but since school is starting and I have GCSE's in a month (for all Americans it's a massive exam you take in high school to determine your future or whatever). So it's harder to write but I'll try my hardest to upload constant decent content. 

Warnings - Angst, terminal illness 

(Vik's P.O.V)

Tobi's always been quiet. In videos, he finds the energy to seem energetic but in reality, he's more mellow. Whenever we hang out in a larger group, Tobi would be that guy that just listens most the time. Having said that, when you hang out with him one on one, he seems more comfortable and talks way more often. According to Josh, Tobi has always been the quiet kid, never really speaking to classmates other than Josh and a couple of other friends. The sidemen are always concerned over him, wanting to know why he's hiding. The thing is, nothing actually wrong with him, he just feels happy that he has friends like us around. The others still worry for him. The thing is, it's not the quiet ones that are hiding their problems right in front of you but it so happens to be one of the loudest and cheerful sidemen that has the problem. 

I've always hidden my insecurities and try and smile during the pain. The problem is that I can't stay like this forever. I spent my entire childhood till I became 14 in hospitals, battling leukaemia until they confirmed 5 years for me to live. Till then I've been waiting for my death. I didn't want to worry the other sidemen, they don't need to know until the end, that way they'll treat me the same, as a normal human being. Same goes for the fans. No one needs to know just yet. I don't fear death, I mean I don't have anything truly to lose. Everyone in the sidemen will still remember me, that's more than enough to pass on peacefully. Right now, I should focus on YouTube. Time is of the essence. I've always been a workaholic, because it distracts me from my problems, that in reality, I'm weak. This way I kid myself that I am normal, and there's nothing wrong when in fact, everything is wrong. I've already surpassed my life expectancy, so at any second, the light can blow out. I take every oppotunity possible and not live with regrets. overcome this disease and be satisfied.Of course, there are so many other things I want to do. I'm gay so I can't have kids biologically, but I still want to get married and maybe adopt, if I'm lucky enough, but I've also learnt not to be too greedy and appreciate what I have. I don't want to hurt any potential family including my husband and kids, so why put anyone through this drama anyways. No one apart from my parents, brothers and the medical staff at the hospital I was in knows of my terminal illness, everyone I know from Sheffield thinks I've recovered from a serious but not deadly operation. It's always been like that...that is until I got careless.

I left the room to go grab a bite to eat from downstairs as I got a bit peckish or maybe I just had a craving for some cereal. Either way, I went downstairs for what was supposed to be a moment.  All the guys came round to help with sidemen merch so I thought afterI finish my cereal, I should help out too. Tobi said that he needed to go to the bathroom and I said that you can enter my room because that is the closest bathroom to the room we are in right now. Little did I know that I made a huge mistake in that decision. 

Tobi had been gone or a while now, and all the sidemen was worried at this point. So I volunteered to go look for him, as he was supposed to be in my room. That's when I realised my mistake. I found Tobi in tears as he looked at my medicine drawer in my desk I forgot to lock. I then only realised that I also left my box of tablets I had to taken carelessly. I'm left speechless, how do I explain to Tobi what he just found out, what I've tried to hide my whole life. 

"Vik, wha...what is...wh...why...why Vik?" Tobi stutters weakly, being at a loss for words.

"Tobi... you aren't supposed to know. No one knows about...this." I state weakly. 

"Vik.! You need to tell me what's wrong! No matter what, I would always worry about you! To be fair, I was already concerned about you. Your smile seemed forced. Now I see this, I'm even more worried, please Vik, tell me what's going on." Tobi begged in desperation. Tobi.. this is the most emotion I have seen him show towards anyone. 

"Why? No matter what I'll tell you, it would not make anything better. It would only hurt." I state void of emotion.

"Vik, because I want to be there for you, I want you to have a shoulder to cry on. It's not mentally healthy to lock up all emotional pain, and I want to help. Can you not see that." Tobi tries and comforts, trying to suppress his agitation. I can tell, he doesn't get it. Most people won't, it's my own messed up logic.

"It makes no difference Tobi, I tried... I tried so hard. It doesn't matter If I'm going to die anyways!" I vent out in frustration, before realising what I said Oh for heaven's sake

"Vik. What do you mean by that?" Tobi asks weakly, in utter shock.

"Tobi, I've been diagnosed with leukaemia ever since I was five. I've already surpassed my life expectancy way more than the doctors predicted, but I can die at any moment. I didn't want anyone else to know, to treat me like glass because I'm strong, I can survive, I can do this.." I try explaining losing my words.

Tobi rushed to hug me.  "Shh, it's okay Vik. You should have at least told me. Things like this are less painful alone, No matter what, your death will hurt us, but it will hurt us more if you die on us so suddenly. We would hate ourselves for not realising your hurt. Please, Vik, rely on me." Tobi comforted me, love in his voice.

I relax in his hold, I missed the ability to actually be able to hold someone like this. "Thank you, Tobi," I say under my breath.

"Anytime Vik," Tobi replies with the same loving tone. "And they say the quiet ones suffer," Tobi muttered under his breath in bitterness. I pretend not to hear it. I was indulging in Tobi's hold more than I  believed I would.

We both know this would end in tragedy, but now I learned that it's better for everyone to be aware of the tragedy beforehand so we can face it together. Now I'm not afraid to express all my feelings to all I care for; it's all thanks to Tobi, the most mellow sidemen - apparently.

A/N - Thank you all for taking the time to actually read this. I'm sorry that updates are going to be difficult now, but I'll try my best. Like always, if you have a request, then comment below and I'll follow up upon it. Thank you once again for reading :)