Losing Time

Unreachable

At some point, you made me believe it was actually possible for us, but I feel very naive now. I don't know what was the point of saying you liked me in the first place if you knew it was not going to work in the end. Remember? one of the first times you talked to me, around a year ago...

I mean, we could have been just friends and I do regret telling you I liked you, cause now I feel very stupid and all, and also clingy and I hate that.
I'm sorry I do not start to like someone very easily, it takes time and all, but I guess it's not the same for everyone. Not the same for you.

Please, can we just not act this awkward "nothing-never-happened" kinda stage cause yes I'm still hurting and yes I will be for a long while and yes my feelings for you were real and not passengers and yes I have lots of difficulties to admit it and yes I feel very stupid right now, and yes I'm sorry, but no I don't think I can act like nothing happened and no it won't be easy to forget and give up all this. You want to be friends... but I want to heal.

Some parts of me still hopes everything will work out in the end. I do want to talk to you and laugh with you and have those irrelevant conversations but sometimes so deep that we used to have. I'll miss what we almost had and I surely miss what we were. To become strangers again I won't be able to handle that.

I still hope you get into The university in my town because that's one of the universities you wanted to go but mostly because I'll be near you... for once. However I'll have to let go of my feelings and move on because if you do come to that university, I don't want to have feelings for someone who clearly doesn't and moved on months and months ago. So yes, I'm gonna move on, and try to let go my feelings and forget all we had for the last year as the exception of our friendship.

You say that you believed we, us could work despite the distance. I can't believe you. If you believed even for one second it was worth it, you would have tried and tell me. So please stop saying sorry and stop being sorry, I am sorry too but you have nothing to be sorry, especially not your feelings cause you can't control them.

I'm not blaming you, I'm just fighting. I'm a fighter and I fight for the persons and things I love. I don't care if it's complicated or not I'll fight for you if I think it's worth it. To answer my own question, before I didn't believe in long distance relationships but that was before I fell for you and hoped all this time, that it would work. But now I understand it won't and I'm sorry.

I started to believe in love again but I guess there really isn't any happy love. I wanted to say that the way I'm hurting right now, can't be just affection. I love you Greg. And I'm sorry you don't feel the same way. I'm sorry for you that you'd rather give up if there's any difficulties coming up. I'm sorry that you'd rather be a quitter then a fighter and I'm sorry I don't think the same as you do and I'm sorry for falling for you. I really am sorry. Not for me, but for you. Being a quitter must be hard in life.