The Usual... A Max Schneider Fan Fiction

Chapter Twenty-Six: Lifted

"You alright?" I asked as he looked in my direction, forcing myself to not let my thoughts run away with me. I smiled gently as he slowly shook his head, undoing his seatbelt and letting out a long, deep breath.

"I haven't been here since before I met you," he admitted quietly. "I feel guilty about that."

My heart broke as I watched my boyfriend. "Max..." I murmured. "You deserve your happiness; don't let this guilt eat you alive."

Max sniffled a little, sighing, his words tentative. "I-I know," he managed. "That's why I'm doing this..." he told me, meeting my gaze intensely. "I don't ever want to feel guilty for loving you, Symphony. I don't want to feel guilty about being loved."

I gave his knee a gentle squeeze as his hand fell over mine. "You deserve enough love to fill a thousand oceans, Max," I murmured, my voice genuine and sincere. "And you shouldn't feel guilty about a single bit of it..." I paused, hesitating, before finally adding, "Adeline wouldn't want that."

Max didn't respond for a moment, before slowly looking over at me. His eyes went blank again for another moment, before he was with me again, watching me. "No..." he suddenly spoke. "She wouldn't..."

Max gave a long breath, nodding to himself. "Alright," he said, slowly opening his car door. "Okay... Okay."

Max got out of the car, quickly, startling me slightly. He moved around to my side of the car uneasily, opening the door for me and offering me his arm. I watched him, slowly, biting my lip a little as I realized Max wouldn't look at me. I didn't say anything though, just nodded to myself as I let him help me from the car, holding the sunflowers for Adeline in my other hand. Max shut the door after me, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and beckoning me to take his arm, knowing it would give himself comfort if I came closer. I did so, softly, letting him draw strength from me as he began guiding me into the cemetery.

We walked in silence, my boyfriend's eyes trained on his feet as he walked slowly towards our destination. His breathing was even and labored, as if he was forcing himself to take slow breaths to keep calm. I squeezed his arm a few times, trying desperately to calm him down, although it was to almost no avail. I was about to worry myself sick, and the feeling only got worse when Max started shaking.

"Baby...?" I spoke tentatively, looking up at Max. He quickly shook his head, making sure his stare stayed ahead.

"I-I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't mean to worry you."

I frowned sadly. "Are you okay?"

Max shook his head. "This guilt in eating me," he said. "I'm taking my current girlfriend with me to go see my dead ex-girlfriend..."

I shook my head. "It isn't like that, Max," I told him. "You're going to give yourself closure and bringing me for comfort; there's a difference, baby."

Max sniffled in the cold air. "Is it?" he asked, his voice shaking. I didn't say anything this time, letting him think for a moment as he turned us down a row of stones; we were close.

"Vulnerable, squishy Max-ness," my boyfriend whispered, coming to a stop and looking at me. "I love you."

I gave Max's hand a gentle squeeze. "I love you too, Max."

He took a deep breath, before taking the sunflowers from me and kissing my forehead. "Wait for me here, okay?" he murmured, squeezing my shoulder. "That way I can see you if I need you."

I nodded, letting him slowly part from me as he walked away, towards a gray stone a little ways away. Even from so far away I could read the name: 'Adeline Elizabeth Reed.' Max knelt in front of the stone, and I watched his lips from the words 'Hi Addy,' before I stopped paying enough attention to catch them. I didn't want to be intrusive.