Pokemon Oneshots

Ash x Misty // PokeShipping

Misty' POV~

I'm selfish.

I'd never admit it to anyone but myself, but I am. It's not something I showed outwardly, mixed in with my occasional outbursts and poorly hidden jealously, but something I let create feelings that I hide in the pit of my stomach, willing them not to arise.

That's the conclusion I've come to, anyway. What else can explain the thoughts running through my head? The purely selfish thoughts of I wish Ash were here with me instead of out there with her. What else can that be described as other than selfishness, when I'd rather hold him back just so that I can have a smile on my face instead of this constant, unforgiving frown.

Pointing out this one flaw and labeling myself as 'selfish' was letting the first domino in a everlasting row fall. It's like the original opinions and ideas of myself I had all flipped to an opposite meaning, as quick as light turns to dark with the flick of a switch. Hating myself was a new struggle to deal with added onto the others.

All this over one stupid, stupid boy. One stupid, inconsiderate boy whose mind didn't even glance at the fact that he would be leaving me behind and taking my happiness with him.

My family, friends, and Pokémon were worried. I expected that much, at least. Who wouldn't be, when I went from training hard and laughing loudly to losing gym battles one after the other and trapping myself in my room day after day?

I'd wondered if Ash could really have this much of an impact on me and had come to the conclusion that he can't. Maybe he's the one who lit the spark at the very beginning, but he'd ran as soon as it caught fire, and my own insecurities are what recklessly poured gasoline on the tiny flame.

So if he didn't play so big of a role, how could he be the one to fix it? That's what it seemed like, when he was at my doorstep, all of the anxiety and depression and overall sadness melting and dripping off my shoulders if only temporarily.

He was staring at me wordlessly, Pikachu nowhere to be found. He looked out of breath and his clothes dripped from what was assumed to be rain. My sisters had probably let him in and left us be, waiting behind closed doors to see the results of what was to come. I wanted to be there with them, not in the midst of the action.

"I'm selfish."

It was him who said it, not me. My tired widened as his gaze dropped to the floor. The fire in his eyes was still there - mine had left as soon as he did. I had to reach out and place my hand on his arm to make sure he was really there and it wasn't all a dream; I think it was the first time he's flinched at my touch.

"I know you have a life and a gym and a family back here, but," he paused - and this wasn't the first time I'd seen tears forming in his eyes, but this time surely affected me the most - "I can't not have you there with me! You should see it, me turning around every few minutes and expecting to see you close behind, or pointing out every Water Pokémon that everybody else could care less about. It's ridiculous, so much that I dropped my journey halfway through Kalos and caught the next ferry back to Kanto."

I don't know if it was the tears, or that he was rambling, or the way he was describing my feelings in his own, or the fact that I was just tired, but I shut him up with a firm press of my lips against his. I didn't know why, and I didn't know if it would fix anything, but the adrenaline in my bones was urging me to do it.

It hadn't been our first kiss by a long shot, but this time it wouldn't be followed with a "we can't" or "I'm sorry", I knew it. Tears were staining both our cheeks as our lips slid against each other's softly, slowly. We held each other like we were never letting go, and the raw emotion we put into the single action was overwhelming.

Minutes went by of a sweet, beautiful exchange, and more minutes of silence followed. We were stood against one another, wrapped up in each other's arms, foreheads pressed together and eyes closed, just letting our thoughts wander and waiting on the other to speak first.

The depression I'd experienced through the months of Ash's absence hadn't disappeared, I'd decided. But when he was here and mine, the love and happiness that comes with him completely overpowers and overshadows it. It's only hidden for right now, but it's something I can work on, with him.

"You're not selfish," I whispered, both to myself and to my world wrapped up in front of me. He brought his beautiful chocolate eyes to stare at the smile we both hadn't seen in forever return to my face, and they sparkled with delight. "You're in love."