If You Wanted Honesty (Kellic)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17 - Kellin - Listening

Right before second period, I find myself trapped in a closet. Again.

Ian wastes no time with threats or insults. He smacks me across the face with no hesitation, stunning me for a few seconds.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that for?" I ask, holding my hands up. He’s not normally this random, especially when he’s as pissed as he is right now. I didn’t do anything to him, so what’s his reasoning today?

"That was for Vic." He swings at me again, but I duck this time.

"For Vic?” I repeat in disbelief. “Last I checked, you didn’t even like him.”

"I don’t. But you? I can’t believe I ever liked you."

I back away, out of his reach. “What did I do?” But it becomes clear as soon as the words leave my mouth. It’s freshman year all over again.

"Well, it seems you and that senior kid fucked in a closet."

With that, I snap. “Keyword there, Ian: seems. It seems that we fucked in a closet. But guess what? We didn’t. I see what you’re doing, and I admit, it’s actually kind of noble. You’re getting me for Vic, because supposedly I cheated again. But have you ever heard the phrase ‘Innocent until proven guilty’? I think you have a habit of switching it around. Guilty until proven innocent. Well, newsflash: I’m innocent.”

He tilts his head. He’s never heard me deny the claims everyone has made about me cheating. I guess at this point, he just assumed it was true.

"And not just about the closet shit. I never cheated on you, either, Ian. There’s this thing called a rumor. Was it just that you didn’t trust me? Were you just so pessimistic that it seemed more likely that I was cheating?”

"Well, here’s my question,” he interrupts. “Why did you wait until now to say you’re innocent? Why not set me straight two years ago?”

"You never fucking gave me a chance, that’s why," I spit back. "Just started beating the shit out of me, out of nowhere. And even though I had no idea what the hell you were talking about, I could tell your mind was made up. You were convinced, Ian, that I was off with some secret boyfriend, and it drove you crazy. You want me to believe you never cared about me? I mean, maybe you don’t now, but I know you did then. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have let me affect you. But you did, and now here you are, still stuck on something that didn’t even happen. All because you didn’t think to stop and talk to me about it. I would’ve been honest, Ian. That’s all you had to say. I’m being honest right now."

That leaves him speechless for a few moments. “Damn,” he mutters. “If you’re lying, you’re a fucking good actor.”

I sigh. “Okay. I get it. You don’t trust me. I know. You’ve built up so much hate these past two years. You know, along with your football player body. Can you even remember before that, when you were this scrawny geek and you were dating someone who matched your ‘perpetual weirdness’, as you put it? Remember that?”

It almost hurts to look at his facial expression, because it lets me know that he does remember. He remembers, and even though he may deny it, I think he misses it. He misses me…even though he hates me.

"See, it’s still there. Ian, we’ve been having this feud for far too long. You’ve made me feel like shit these past two years, but if you’ll believe me right now, if you’ll let go of what you thought you knew about me…I won’t hold a grudge. We can stop this whole thing and get on with our lives."