.H e a r t b e a t. Garmau AU

23: I need you.

Aphmau's POV:

I watched the paint on the wall. It never changed. I still see all the shapes.
I sighed and just watched. I snapped out of it when I qheard my phone ring. I cocked my head and picked it up.

"Aph?" A strong voice said.

"Aaron?"

"Yeah. Look, I...I wanted to let you know, if you do end up with Garroth, just don't forget about me."

"Aaron..."

"Aphmau, I still care about you and seeing you like this the past nine months killed me inside. I love you and I don't think that Garroth should-"

"It wasn't his fault, Aaron. Look, thank you for the concern but, I love Garroth. You had your chance."

"Aph, I-"

"Save it. I'm your friend and always will be but, if you tell me that it's Garroth's fault he got in that crash, you are so wrong."

"I'm sorry."

"Goodbye Aaron."

I hung up. I care about Aaron as a close friend but, he was drawing the line when he mentioned Garroth.

"Mi'ha? Why aren't you asleep?" My mother asked walking in.

"I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep."

"I see. Do you, want anything?" She asked.

"You know."

"Mi'ha, I know you want him but, like I said, he needs time."

"I know."

She smiled and wished me goodnight or...good morning now. Since it is five am.

I looked over to my right. I saw my journal. It's practically full now but, what's the harm in one more.

Dear Journal,

  Over the past nine months,I watched my close friend, Garroth Thomas Ro'Meave on a hospital bed. He looked like he was about to die at any moment and if I were to touch him, he would shatter.
Over the nine months, I went through so many emotions.

Hope.

Empathy.

Absence.

Regret.

Tension.

Buried.

Elastic.

Admiration.

Terror.

All of them at different times. Each one, affecting my feelings towards him.
I would fine myself on shore but, waves from ocean eyes would draw me back in.
Once I found out he woke up, I was filled with joy. Once I found out, he didn't want to speak with me again, all those emotions came back. All at once. They're still going on inside my head. Each one, chiping my insanity. Part of me wants to respect his wishes and let him live his life without me but, I can't.

I need to hear his voice. I need to hear his feelings about the seasons. I need his comfort. I need his smile. I need his life in mine. I need him.

Garroth Thomas Ro'Meave was a man who cared about others but, fell in love with an idiot. An idiot who didn't feel love. An idiot who liked bad boys. An idiot who didn't see the good in him before. Now it's too late.

Garroth,

If you ever find yourself reading this. Wether it be tomorrow or fifty years from now where mother found this and wants you to read this,

I love you.

I need you.

I threw the book across the room, completely in tears. I started to sob uncontrollably. In between sobs, I called out his name, thinking that if I called for him he would come. His ocean eyes and all. That's reality.

Reality hits you in face at your worst possible moment. Making you feel awful. Reality is, Garroth is gone. I lost my chance because, I thought I loved someone else. Now, I can never get the same love ever again, because, I lost Garroth.

I continued to sob until...

I heard a tap on my window.

Word Count
605