I Still Need ✓

14. I need things I really shouldn't be needing

"You need both of us," he finished calmly.

"Yes. Does that mean I'm crazy?"

"No, that doesn't mean you're crazy, Hugo. I think you've just never heard of polyamory."

"What? Polyamory? What's that? It sounds like a disease."

"It's not a disease," he laughed. "It's a concept. A way of living. One that... not a lot of people stand behind. You know what the amory-part means, right?"

"Like amore, love, I'm presuming?"

I was getting an anxious feeling in my stomach.

He nodded. "Well, the Greek word poly means several. Meaning, you love several people. Polyamory is basically the opposite of monogamy."

"So this is a thing?" I squeaked out. "People do this? There are people out there that date more than one person at the same time?"

"Yeah, it's becoming more common these days."

"I— But you..." I shook my head. "Why do you know this?"

"I dunno. I just like researching controversial stuff. It's fun to see what people have to say about it and judge their opinions."

"Then what is your opinion about... polyamory?"

He was quiet for a bit, as if he wasn't really sure what to say, until he finally said, "I personally don't like the idea of people dating others outside of their current relationship, like if I would be going out with somebody other than you. It just sounds kinda... slutty. To me, at least."

I nodded. I didn't really like that idea either.

"But adding someone to the relationship... if all parties have equal feelings for each other... That doesn't sound like there should be anything wrong with it. I'm not opposed to that."

I was flabbergasted. Absolutely dumbfounded, not a single word springing to mind. It was like my eyes had been opened to a new world, yet at the same time it felt like I was treading on very, very dangerous territory. A taboo no one should speak of.

"Hugo?" He grabbed my hand and squeezed it comfortingly. "Don't beat yourself up about it. There's nothing wrong with it."

"Yeah, that's what you say," I muttered, "but there's a lot of people that say it is very wrong. Besides, I don't even know what to do with this information. I can't date both of you! Floyd probably doesn't even want that..."

I had no idea what even went on in Floyd's mind most of the time. He was still hiding that thing from me with Olivia, and she was sick and not responding to texts, because her mother said that phones stopped her from getting better, however that made sense.

"You probably don't even want that," I added.

I just couldn't look at him. I felt so ashamed. Here I was happily dating this wonderful guy in front of me and I wanted more? How selfish of me.

Dylan cleared his throat and I snapped my head around to look at his face, which was—of all things—red.

"Y-you're kidding."

"I—"

"Tell me you're kidding. This can't be true."

"W-well, I'm— Uh..." He scratched his head. "You have no idea what things little Floyd does to me."

I stared at him, my jaw somewhere in the basement. I had to be dreaming. This couldn't be happening. There was no way this could actually be real life. This was ridiculous. "Are you serious?"