Deliverance (DS #1)

Chapter 37

Chapter 37:
Doesn't tolerate

"HI! Mrs. Patricia Delos Santos?"

Napatingin si Patricia sa babaeng lumapit sa kanya. Nginitian niya ito. "Hello. You must be..."

"Yes. I'm Alyx." Umupo ito sa tapat niya. "I'll be the one to counsel you today. Our pastor received your email and praise God because you wanted to open up to us. Thank you for trusting this ministry. Huwag kang mag-aalala. Lahat nang mapag-uusapan natin ay sa ating dalawa lang."

Napakurap siya at napatuwid sa kinauupuan. She started to get uncomfortable although the woman seemed so nice and gentle.

"Start anytime you are ready, Patricia," she kindly said. "Can I pray for you, first?"

Wala sa sariling tumango lang siya. Alyx is a counsel from the church she's been attending. Pagkatapos siyang ipagdasal nito ay ngumiti itong muli. Napalunok si Patricia. Napapikit.

"I-I love my husband so much..." panimula niya. "Sa kabila ng pag-iwan ko sa kanya noon at pagiging magaspang niya pagbalik ko, minahal ko pa rin siya ng sobra pa kaysa noon."

Tumango si Alyx at matamang nakinig sa kanya.

"H-He... He's into..." Hirap na hirap siyang magsalita. "A-Alessandro's into black market... H-He's in an underground syndicate that sells illegal firearms, smuggled cars, and drugs..." Nagsimula siyang manginig sa kinauupuan.

Isang buwan na mula nang malaman niyang niloloko lang siya ng asawa.

"Just go on, Patricia..." Alyx tapped her hand. Tila hindi man lang ito nagulat sa isiniwalat niya.

"I don't know what to do." Umiling siya habang nangingilid ang luha sa mga mata. "I wanted to be angry and be mad at him. G-Gusto ko siyang iwan. P-Pero kasal kami at may anak kami. He loves our son so much. Natatakot akong kapag nilayo ko si Noah, lalong lumala si Alessandro..." Tuluyan na siyang napahagulgol nang iyak. Matagal niyang kinipkip ang lahat ng luha magmula nang mabisto niya si Sandro.

Pero walang alam ang asawa na may nalalaman na siya. She stayed quiet. Patuloy na sumasakay sa mga kasinungalingan ng asawa.

"Ayokong iwan si Alessandro pero hindi ko rin puwedeng isawalang bahala na masama ang ginagawa niya at may posibilidad na mapahamak ang anak namin. Should I just leave? But what do I need to do if I stayed?

"Sabi sa isang preaching noon, pray for the people that have hurt you. I've been praying for Sandro but it seems like nothing's changing," she frustratingly said. "Nasasaktan na 'ko. But God said that sometimes He will use us to be an instrument to other people. Even if it discomforts us. Pero bakit ganoon? Bakit sobrang sakit? Am I misinterpreting God's message? Am I doing it wrong? How do we continue to love the unlovable? How do we endure when everything is just damn painful?"

Nakakaintinding tumango ang kausap at inabutan siya ng tissue box. Then, Alyx stood up to get a bottle of water for her.

"It's normal for us to break down once in a while," Alyx said, sympathetic. "Being a Christian doesn't mean we can't cry."

She sobbed. "Kung nakinig lang ako sa mga magulang ko... kung nakinig lang ako sa mga kaibigan ko... Pero pinilit kong maniwala kay Sandro hindi lang dahil mahal ko siya. Because I also thought that there's hope for him..."

"We all know that Jesus died for the sinners and not for the righteous, right? We all know that He is perfect but He received all the torture and pain intended for the imperfect people. Because He loves us. For some, it's stupidity to continue to love despite being not loved back at all. But what Jesus did is a reflection of an unconditional love to the people who have turned their backs away from the Lord."