Glee: Klaine with kids!!!

Chapter 11~Terrifying Tuesday~Deven's Pov

I woke up, Wasted as usual. Sadly my tiny moment of peace was gone when Burt started practically pillow raping me (aka whacking Deven with a pillow).

"Burt! Stop raping me!" I yelled, Burt froze

"How the fuck am I raping you!!" Burt screamed horrified. I quickly looked back and said

"Well...you see your spanking me with a pillow. I think that that is technically rape!"

"Ok. First of all I was never spanking you with a pillow!" Burt replied. I glared at Burt as he slowly noticed that his pillow was directly on my ass. Burt looked at his feet

"Oh." Burt said awkwardly

"Ha!" I stated. 

I slipped out of bed, did my hair and placed a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. Then I walked over to the freezer where I was hiding a big tub of slushee behind a bag of frozen peas.

"Whatcha doing there sport?" I  slowly turned around hoping that it wasn't one of my dads. Luckily for me it was my uncle Puck!

"Hey uncle Puck! I was just gonna slushee my sister do you wanna help?!" I said like a five year old on a sugar high

"Hell yah!! My miniature Puckzilla! " my uncle Puck yelled in a state of pure joy. Uncle Puck and I tip toed to Liz's room. Uncle puck waited outside my sisters bedroom as I creeped into her room and "accidently" tore up a picture of her and Thomas. Then I dumped the tub of slushee on her face.  I began to make my way out oh her room to go high five Uncle Puck but I was RUDELY interupted by my sister screaming

"What the fuck Deven!" She screeched as the witch wiped the slushee off her warty face

"It isn't my fault that your alarm clock wouldn't work!" I lied

"That doesn't mean that you throw a slushee at me while I'm sleeping douchebag!" The wicked witch screeched once again. I rolled my eyes she is such a mother fucking drama queen!

"Well..at least I'm not the one who is carrying some insane child with SMYTH DNA!" I yelled back emphasizing the word Smyth. Sadly I didn't sound that angry because my voice cracked while I was attempting to empasize the word Smyth.

"Excuse me?" My Dad Blaine said as he entered Liz's obnoxiously girly room

"Uh. Ur.um. Nothing!" The witch stuttered and flew on her broom out of the house.

~Time Skip (Deven and Burt's Dorm room at Dalton)~✨

I was lying in my bed skipping classes as usual when I heard a knock at the door. I slowly leaned off my bed. Then I fell on my face.

"Ow!" I yelled and started to practicly drag myself to the door like a  sailor coming out of the ocean in those cheesy war movies.  I opened the door. To reveal my best friend Andrew Shuester.

"Shouldn't you be at McKinley?!" I asked/yelled. Andrew glared at me 

"Of course I Should dipshit. I just wanted to talk to you about Liz." 

"Why couldn't you talk to me after school!!" I groaned

"Because I assumed that you could talk to me insted of vaping your life away!" He said gestering to my vape.  I rolled my eyes at his comstant need to bring  up the fact that I vape, smoke ciggerates and do lines of cocaine. 

"Anyways." I said quickly trying to switch the subject.

 "Why did you want to talk about my demon spawn sister?" 

"Well.." Andrew started to say before I interupted him by saying 

"If you and Liz got back together I will fucking go mad! I dont want to see my sister and my best friend fucking on the couch again!!!!" I hollard

"Dude calm down. Me and your sister arn't back together." Andrew responded. I sighed in relief. 

"Well what's the problem?"'I questioned 

"Your sister told your dads that I was the father of her baby!" My best friend wailed out.

"When did my dads find out about this!!" I screamed

"Apparently, our auntie quinn told your dads. How the fuck did you not know about this?!" Andrew questioned sternly

"I guess I wasn't at home when this happend." I yelled back louder

"Ugh!!" Andrew groaned 

"Can you at least try to talk to your sister for me!!" 

"Fine!" I snapped 

To be continued......