Undeniably Yours

2: The meaning of existence.

*****

She was typing furiously, the light from the computer was the only illumination in the room. Many scientific equations flooded the screen. On the table lay several test tubes, each with a certain chemical being tested.

It was near. She can feel it. The antidote was nearly complete. And her role would be fulfilled. She would need to disappear soon too. So his life would go back just how it was used to be.

She hates to admit it but deep inside she doesn't want to go. She was quite contented with her life here. The kids, the constant camping, the professor, and of course, him. Ahh... she was being emotional, which was so unlike her. It was always like this when her mind is not occupied with things. She would always reflect back to how her life has been. The constant reminder of fear from the organization is no more, but she could not help but think of their aftermath. She gazed at her hands. They seem clean, but deep inside she knew that her hands indirectly committed crimes...crimes that the organization had so undoubtedly done, and she was a part of it. Many lives have been ruined all because of her research. Maybe it was fate that was messing with her, telling her to pay for all the sins she had committed. She should not be happy, she didn't deserve to be.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the creak of the door opening. She did not bother to look around to see who or what it was. Maybe it was the professor again, telling her to come and eat dinner. She continued typing.

"Haibara." It was his voice.

"Oh, it's you, Kudo-kun." She nonchalantly said, though she can feel her insides churn. She faced him. "The antidote is nearly finished. I just need to conduct the final testing."

She expected him to shout for joy, but he remained impassive.

"Aren't you gonna rejoice?" She asked.

"I thought we already talked about that." She didn't know if he was angry or not. She has difficulty seeing his expression in the dark, but judging from his voice, it was grim.

"Yeah, we did." She decided to overlook whatever he was feeling at the moment. This was her forte. To remain expressionless at all times.

He walked to the side of the basement, then flickered the light on. She winced at the sudden light. She glared at him. He glared back.

"Are you even seeing things in this room?"

"Of course, detective. If you do not know, the eyes can adjust itself to the dark." She answered with sarcasm.

"Hmpf. I thought I told you to take a rest from all of this."

"And I thought I told you too that it would be my choice, Kudo-kun. Are you that worried for me?" She asked, a smirk slowly forming in her face. He fought the urge to heave a sigh. Here they are again with their banter. But that doesn't mean he despise it.

She moved away from her seat and made her way to the table. The shrunken detective followed her.

"The antidote's test would be done in a week. You'll finally get your life back." She said, not meeting her eyes.

He did not answer. She did not know what to say. They just stood there in silence.

"What will you do when the antidotes finished?" He softly asked after some time.

She faced him, and crossed her arms on her chest.

"Does that matter?"

"Haibara, you're answering my question with another question."

"I am aware of that." She smirked.

He scratched his head in desperation. There was no winning against her. He walked towards the door.

"Professor said it was dinner. Come or I'll send the kids down here." He threatened.

She smiled.

"You did not even answer me about the antidote. You ingrate." She whispered.

*****

It was after a week when the professor called so suddenly. It was around dawn when a sudden ring from the phone broke him from his slumber.

"SHINICHI!!!"

"Hakase, what the---"

"She's gone!"

It was as if all the nerve in his body jolted. In a flash, he was running towards the Hakase's, not even minding that he was only wearing his pajamas in the cold. His mind was occupied with the thoughts of her.

Gone? Where to? She was just there about a week ago.

"You'll finally get your life back." He remembered her telling him that. Is this what she meant? That getting his life back would mean that she will disappear on him? He wanted to swear out loud. It was like something was in his chest.

"Hakase!!!!" He bolted through the door. The professor was seated on the living room, his hand held a letter obviously written by her.

"What ---"

The expression on the professor's face was melancholic, like he was about to cry. He treated her like her own daughter.

"Shinichi, this..." He showed him the letter he was holding. There was another letter, enclosed in an unopened envelope. Obviously, she wrote it two letters for them. He took the letter and ripped it open. It was her neat handwriting that greeted him.

Kudo-kun,
I have finally completed the antidote. Fret not, I am certain that this time, it is permanent. You'll finally get your life back, and you can finally go back to your girlfriend. I know many years was wasted in your life, and you would probably get some trouble in trying to keep it up but try not to attract too much trouble. But I certainly doubt that since you are a corpse-magnet, no matter what your form is. But just try.

P.S. If the kids asked about me, tell them that I will go back abroad and will stay there for good. I know they will pester you so try to be patient with them. Can you just stay as Conan for a while until they can recover from my absence? I think that would just be in no time. And they would be shock if the two of us suddenly disappeared. But it would still be your choice.

P.P.S. I was not able to say this to you personally but sorry. Sorry for taking your perfect life. If not for the drug I have created, you might probably be one of the celebrity in the police force today. Just pretend that these past five years was just a dream, and a certain Haibara Ai did not exist. Well really, she didn't.

Goodbye, Shinichi Kudo.
Haibara Ai

He gripped the letter firmly.

"How can you simply say you did not exist, damn it." He whispered.

*****