he's at my door at half five, in a black jacket and dark blue skinny jeans. he offers me his hand, grinning.
"i thought we'd go to this restaurant" he says, when i take it and walk out of my flat. we start off down the hall side by side. "it's not that fancy or anything, i work in retail. but i like it. sound good?"
"sounds great" i say. what i don't say is that anywhere with him sounds great. what i don't say is that i feel his hand in mine like it's sending shockwaves through my arm, tingles where he's touching me. what i don't say is that i want to kiss him again.
we walk together a few blocks, until we come to a restaurant above a comic shop. i never noticed it before, despite having visited the comic shop many times since i moved here.
we walk up the tiny stairs, hand in hand. phil talks to the host, and we're seated at a table with one candle in the centre.
i have to drop phil's hand, and my hand feels empty.
for a few moments, we're busy with the menus, and then we compare orders, and then we tell them to the waitress, and then we're silent.
"so dan" phil says eventually. "what's your favourite colour?" i can't help it, i start laughing hysterically. phil looks confused for a moment, but then a smile appears on his face, and he's obviously trying to fight off laughter. he can't fight for long though, and soon we're both laughing.
"i'm sorry" i explain, once i've calmed down enough to talk. "it's just so ordinary, so obvious, i don't know. it seemed out of place."
"i know" he says. "i totally thought the same thing. it feels like we've moved past favourite colour."
"it's black" i say. "my favourite colour, i mean."
"mine is blue" he says. "like deep blue. ocean blue. night sky blue."
"your eyes blue" i say without thinking. he smiles widely, and reaches across the table to take my hand.
we spend the night like that, talking about nothing, learning about each other, his hand in mine.
we walk back to my flat hand in hand.
he kisses me goodnight.
YOU ARE READING
lighter || phan au || prequel to cold
Fanfictionin which we meet ten times. in which we have ten dates. in which we learn to fall in love and i learn to fall apart. "the first time we meet, i don't know who i am"
