Losing Time (boy x boy) [COMPLETED]

Chapter Eleven

Dylan's funeral is...heart-wrenching. Dylan was loved by a lot of people. It was hard to be around him and not laugh. He was a very easy going person.

"Dylan always made me laugh," a woman says. "He never failed. He was so kind. He had a...peaceful presence. His life was hard, though that's not unique here. And yet, he was always happy. He told me once that we made his life brighter. US!" She shakes her head and sniffles. "We'll miss you, Dyl. But we'll live up to you. We'll live with the sun of your life shining upon us." She steps away from the podium and into the arms of a man.

That woman is Cristal, Dylan's sister. Her speech is beautiful and I'm trying, and failing, to not cry. Cristal comes up to me. Her boyfriend squeezes her shoulders.

"You should say something," she tells me.

"No." My voice is hard.

"He loved you. You should say something." When I look at her, she explains, "he told me. I know everything about my brother."

"Then you'd know I got him killed."

Her gaze softens. "No, you didn't. HE got himself killed. He was doing what he always does: protecting those he loves. I won't force you to think differently, I'd feel the same if it was me. Just know that he would've done the same for any one of us."

I squeeze my eyes shut. "But why did he love me? The one person who couldn't return it?"

"I don't know. Think about it like this: he's not hurting anymore. He'll never hurt again. He's finally resting."

I shake my head and turn away. "I'm sorry, Cris, but I have nothing to say that would do him justice."

"Simply by talking, you'd make him smile, wherever he is."

I freeze then curse. "Nobody wants me up there." My defense sounds weak even to me.

"Jaxon, he loved you."

"I can't...I can't say that if that's what you want."

"I know." Her voice is sad. "But please. For him."

I curse again. "All right." I walk up to the podium and take a second to gather my thoughts. "Dylan told me he loved me. Even though I couldn't return the favor. He knew I loved someone else, but he was satisfied with only my friendship. That's the kind of person he was.

"Even though I didn't love him, he was determined to help me find my sister. I gave him so many times to get out, but he didn't." I clench my teeth and shake my head. "He stayed by me, even got captured for me.

"That day," I take a deep breath, "I thought he was going to kill me. I knew I deserved it, but I knew he'd hate himself later. Then, he pulled himself out, because he was strong.

"They wouldn't let him go, but he wouldn't let them win. Then, he killed himself, because he loved me more than life. I didn't deserve his love and he didn't deserve the pain I brought him. Hopefully, now he's at peace." I leave the podium only to be hit with the sight of everyone crying.

Cristal hugs me. "That was beautiful!" She pulls back slightly. "He would've loved it." I don't respond, for the pain is overwhelming. She lets me go and I find Devon leaning against a tree.

He stares at the people milling around and doesn't turn in my direction. "I hate funerals." When I say nothing, he faces me. "Are you ok?" I shrug. He wraps me in his arms. He's silent; there's no need for words. He simply holds me while I cry into his chest.

"I'm glad you lost your memories," Devon says.

I pull back. "What?" He avoids my gaze.

"At first, I hated that you didn't remember. I was so stuck in the past, I couldn't see the present. I said I fell in love with you all over again. What I didn't expect," he looks me dead in the eyes, "was to be MORE in love with you now than before." He lifts my chin with his index finger. "I don't care about the past. It's no longer who you are or what we are. I only care about the present and spending it with you. Will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?"

I smile and wipe my face. "Of course I will."

He returns my smile and gives me a chaste kiss. "Thank god."

"Did you think I'd say no?"

"After everything that's happened, yeah."

"You know I can never refuse you."

He smirks. "Can I get that in writing for...later?"

I roll my eyes and playfully shove him. "Get your dirty mind out of the gutter. It needs a bath."

"Says you, Mr. Roadhead."

I blush. "Yeah. I don't know what that was."

"I kind of liked it, though you surprised me."

"I...wasn't like that before?"

"No, the opposite. Dominant in life, submissive in sex."

"Oh." I laugh nervously.

"Like I said, I liked it. Strangely, it was sexy, though I always thought myself the dominant one." He leans in and places his mouth by my ear. I shiver at his warm breath. "You can dominate me any time, Jax." He leans away, smirks, and walks off.

'Damn it, Devon!' I think as I chase after him and his long legs.