The Merciless Black List Of Highland High #1 | OUT MAY 30

13 | night conversations, issues and slamming doors

"My God," he huffs out exasperatedly, a slightly annoyed eye roll following right afterward. "I really fail to understand the female part of the population. First, you want guys to resemble gentlemen, but when I actually try to be one, you make me feel guilty for even trying. Make up your damn mind already."

Even though his words sound harsh, his voice is nowhere near being angry or unpleasant. All it is could be described as slightly defeated, as if he was really frustrated with my persistent refusal. The thought instantly makes me feel a little guilty. He's offering a random girl from his school his own bed to sleep in; maybe I should really try to be more grateful, and little less stubborn.

I make sure to keep my mouth shut as I step inside the room, tightly gripping one of my backpack shanks between my fingers. I just want this to be already over with. "Where's your bathroom?"

"Right there," he points his index finger toward the door in the corner of his room.

"Thanks. I just need to change. I'll be right back." I say, turning my back toward him as I head in the direction of the wooden door. I clutch the knob in my hand, pushing it down, when he speaks up again. "The shower cream is under the sink. You can go ahead and use it. Though, you might want to hurry up a little since Rose's probably going to use up all the hot water."

I have to admit, I wasn't planning on it, simply, because taking a shower here when the door is the only thing separating us seems too personal, intimate even. But hearing him say it out loud as if it was a casualty causes a faint smile to cross my lips and I'm so freaking glad my back is still facing him and he can't see me.

"Okay," I breathe out weakly, stepping inside the bathroom and closing the door behind me as fast as I can manage before he actually gets the chance to catch a glimpse of the ridiculous smile that's for some reason still plastered across my face.

When I open the door and step outside the bathroom, I can't help but wish Collin would already be asleep. That way, I wouldn't have to brace myself to appear as calm and composed as I try so hard to at the moment.

The old baggy shirt reaching to my mid-thigh suddenly makes me feel too exposed, and the fact that I'm wearing a pajama shorts underneath isn't helping at all. Usually, I don't sleep in them because I find sleeping in just panties and shirt much more comfortable, taking the hot LA weather in consideration, but I wouldn't dare to be like that in front of anyone. I might be few months shy of reaching the grand age of eighteen but that doesn't make me any more comfortable with a guy seeing me naked. Despite the fact that all of my friends are guys, the idea of being intimate with someone, trusting them that much, scares me.

When I emerge, Collin flicks his eyes up, stopping at my legs for a beat before returning his attention back to the phone in his hands. He doesn't say anything to me though, so I take it as my cue to disappear under the bed covers as fast as possible. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me today, but his presence feels incredibly unnerving. Which is a little odd for me to understand since I've never had a trouble with just casually being near a guy.