"Then I can't help you anymore." She uttered. "I put you in this situation so I kinda feel responsible for your feelings. But if you keep on being a hard headed brat, then you're on your own, Kelly."
I tried to find the exact words I want to tell her but I can't. She can't understand me. Yes, she's been in love, but we're in a whole different situation. My brother confessed to her first. They were carefree, unlike me. I don't want to make a single mistake; I take every step carefully so I won't break. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari sa akin kapag nagkataon na na-inlove nga ako sa lalaking yun. It can either make good or bad results, no in between. At ayaw kong sumugal. Call me coward or what, but admitting my lose for Hanz, I can't possibly imagine what will happen next.
"I-I'll think about it." I said, looking elsewhere. Dahan-dahan kong binawi ang kamay ko mula sa kanya at ngumiti. "Magpapahangin lang ako."
"Are you sure you're fine already?" she asked, examining my face. "Your face is bloated."
I hugged her briefly before standing up. "I'm okay. Besides, madilim na para mapansin nila ang namumugto kong mata."
She didn't say anything as I stepped out the door. Nakasalubong ko pa si Mayka na pabalik sa kwarto namin. Tinanong niya ako kung saan ako pupunta at kung okay lang ba ako. I answered her with the answers I told Jazz earlier and smiled before leaving her, walking towards the white sand.
I was wrong, it wasn't dark enough.
Umupo ako sa buhangin na malapit sa dagat at pinagmasdan ang paligid.
It's still sunset and the landscape is so breathtaking. The red and orange sky in front of me is so picturesque, the birds are flying above the sea happily, the sea is almost smiling at me, and the cool breeze touched my skin, making me feel like I'm being hugged. Everything is perfect, too perfect to cry. There are children playing together with their friends and family, a couple walking side by side while holding each other's hand, and friends laughing and smiling at one another.
Somehow, the scenery in front of me helped me calm. It made me feel like I'm not alone.
I breathed deep as I processed everything.
I am not falling for him, right? Everything is absurd. Yes, we had our moments, but I don't think it is ever enough.
I closed my eyes as I tried to recall all the things that happened between us. Everything happened so quickly. It hasn't been 3 months since we started our relationship, and it started off with no mutual feelings. I don't think it will hit me fast like a storm. And besides, I only agreed to this because of Jazzella. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be in this state of affairs.
Minulat ko ang mga mata ko nang mag-vibrate ang hawak kong phone. It was a text from her.
From: Jazz
Hanz came looking for you. I told him you're out. Settle everything before coming back. I'll just scold you more if you won't.
What the—
I can't believe that woman. She's deciding everything on her own, she's insensitive and tactless. Can't she give me enough time to prepare my brain?
At tsaka, bakit niya ba ako hinahanap? Why is he looking for me at this imperfect time?! Pwede namang mamayang gabi o di kaya ay bukas, bakit ngayon pa na namumugto ang mga mata ko.
Tatayo sana ako para magtago pero nang marinig ko ang boses niya mula sa likuran ko ay nanindig ang mga balahibo ko.
"Kelliah..."
I heard his dark and low voice as I felt him slowly approaching me. Kinagat ko ang labi ko at huminga ng malalim para pakalmahin ang dibdib ko. Hindi ako sumagot at lumingon sa kanya at nanatili lang ang tingin sa dagat.
39: LOVER'S QUARREL
Start from the beginning
