Impurities

Twenty Four

I liked to pretend I could smell the morning air, even twenty feet below the forest floor. I had pretended this for the last thirteen days since Alex welcomed Zima and I into Camp South. Today would not be like the other days.

A knock at the door alerted me of Lizzie's arrival. Evie gave me a long, knowing look as she moved to open the door. I swallowed heavily and rose from my rickety bunk. With a deep breath, I mustered the courage to scoop Goose up into my arms and nuzzle her sleepy face with my nose.

"I love you," I whispered. "Behave. I'll be back before you know it."

She hadn't come to yet. My words would not be remembered. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, hoping she would at least remember that in the coming days when our separation would feel interminable.

After I'd tucked her back under the sheets, I swung my cloth backpack over my shoulder and headed for the door. I wanted to run and avoid saying goodbye to Evie. I was afraid I'd cry.

Evie wouldn't let me go so quickly, though. Before I even reached the door, she'd swept me up in a hug. Her body was soft and warm, like my mother's used to be.

"Be safe, love," she whispered. "I know you'll do well."

"Thank you." My voice shook unsteadily. "And you'll...you'll watch over her for me?"

"Of course."

"Thank you so much," I breathed, squeezing her back.

Leaving Goose had been the hardest part about going on this mission. But I had to do this. I couldn't wait any longer to prove my worth on the rescue team, especially when I'd worked so hard to convince Zima and Commander Watley to give me the position.

"We have to go," Lizzie whispered quietly, not wanting to be rude but needing me to hurry.

I nodded and pulled away from Evie's arms. She pecked my cheek and sent me on my way. While Lizzie and I walked down the eerily quiet halls, she offered up a muffin.

"Hungry?" she asked.

"Not yet." But I accepted the muffin anyway and stuffed it in my bag. "Where's Alex?"

"She's running over last minute details with Zima in the control room."

"I knew he wasn't going to actually sleep in," I muttered. My mind was dwelling more on the fact that he was probably alone with Alex.

Lizzie snorted. "When has Zima ever slept in? Or done anything normal?"

I was too distracted to respond. Our pace quickened the closer we drew to the hatch. Habit forced my eyes downwards, to the watch the Patriots had given me. They were timely people. Two minutes. We had two minutes until our boots had to be above ground and heading towards the Northaven Russian camp fifty miles north.

We reached the hatch within seconds. Alex wasn't there yet. I wondered if Zima would come to wish me luck.

"Are you nervous?" Lizzie questioned. Her green eyes were compassionate under the dim ceiling light.

"No. Why?"

Before she could answer, Alex's voice bounced off the wall, making me jump. "Stop tapping your foot, Flora. I could hear you from a mile away."

I looked past her, trying to hide my disdain. My heart couldn't decide whether it wanted to race or stop beating altogether at the sight of Zima's long shadow. His face was tightened grimly. He had been fighting this trip—specifically, my seat on this trip—for days now.

"Zima," I squeaked.

"Make it quick," Alex ordered as she headed up the hatch ladder. "We're losing time."

Lizzie inquired about Carson's whereabouts, seeing as how we couldn't leave our third team member behind, but I was too focused on Zima to really notice. He stopped an inch from me, his eyes boring into mine.

"You don't have to go," he reminded me for the millionth time. "I can use you here."

"I want to go. You know that." I brushed my hand against his, too shy to grab it and hold it against my lips like I'd dreamt of doing.

He bent his head, so our eyes were almost level. Meanwhile, my palm was engulfed in his. "Stay smart out there. Listen to Alex. She'll keep you alive."

A scowl pulled at my mouth. I could survive by myself. Did he have to belittle me now, of all times?

"Please, Flora," he begged. "I need you safe. If you aren't back on time, I will come looking for you. Watley won't appreciate it."

"You can't leave. You're too important."

"And you are too important to me. I need you to come home."

Butterflies swam in my belly. "Don't worry. I won't let all the times you saved my life go to waste."

He managed a brusque chuckle. Just when he leaned down to kiss me, Alex interrupted us.

"Hey! Stop making out and get up here!" she barked. "Unless you wanna get left behind on your own trip, Flora."

God, I prayed, don't let me kill her. They will never forgive me if I do. Even if she deserves it.

"Safe." Zima's lips brushed against my ear. "Stay safe."

I took deep breath, heart stammering wildly, and stole a kiss from his unsuspecting mouth. His jaw fell open as I pulled away. Grinning, I spun around and started up the ladder.

When I caught up with Carson at the top of the hatch, I glanced back down at Zima. He was still standing there, watching me. I flashed him a smile.
I wouldn't let anything stop me from coming back. Not even death. Love gave me plenty of incentive to return.

For now, however, I had to go. I had to carry out this mission. I had to be helpful and not helpless. This was my chance to put the horrible things I'd experienced and witnessed to good use. My impurities would not hold me back. They would propel me to help those like myself and put an end to the Russian reign of terror.

It was time to bring America back.

It was time to win again.

And it started with us.