"Watching someone you love die, is more than we are equipped to handle."
I've watched my mom suffer for over 10 years now. I have literally watched a completely healthy body wither away in front of my eyes. I have seen a person go from being able to do everything to not being able to get out of bed.
Each doctors appointment is harder. They tell us that her decline is natural and this is part of the process.
Living with 1/4 of a lung takes a toll on the body. A whopping 75 pounds that relies solely on home oxygen to keep her going. Breathing treatments 4 times a day, constant coughing, and a medicine cabinet just for her.
She is the strongest person I know. The most loving, caring, selfless person I know. She means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
My life could be totally different right now. I gave up going to Oregon for college for her. I spend my days going to work and then coming straight home to help take care of her and to give my dad a break. Granted she sleeps most of the day, someone is still always here with her.
I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know I will cherish these moments when she's gone. I'll have a whole life after she is gone. She's made me promise that I'll go and do and see things, for her, for me. She wants me to travel the world, make mistakes, and fall in love; cause I haven't really given dating a chance.
I worry about it constantly, it seems like. She has taught me so much. She taught me how to love, care and forgive. If I could be half the person she is one day. She's good and pure and has a heart of gold. She's giving. She's faithful. She's a woman of faith. And she'll speak her mind no matter what. She taught me how to be strong and independent.
She's taught me so much. I'm forever grateful.
The only thing she hasn't taught me, is how I'm going to live without her.
