Broken Together

Hooked

I adjusted my wig nervously. Today was the day. I was going to ask Sally to be my girlfriend.

Come on, Zim, calm down. You're an Irken Invader! We don't feel fear! Especially fear caused by a human girl.

She sat down next to me in the cafeteria. I felt my breathing quicken. I cleared my throat.

"There's... There's something I want to ask you." I stammered.

"Yes?" She replied, head tilted slightly to the right. 

"Well, I've been ruminating on this for a while, and... I like you, Sally. I think you're the most beautiful, smart, amazing being in the cosmos. I want to spend the rest of... Well the rest of your life together. I will most likely out live you, but that's not the point. I would like to ask if you would be my girlfriend."

She grinned eagerly.

"I thought you would never ask!" She exclaimed, and hugged me.

Then she did something I wasn't prepared for. She brought her head close to my cheek, pursed her lips, and lightly sucked on the surface of my cheek for a fraction of a second. I felt my cheeks warm up, and turn bright pink. I felt a dull feeling of happiness flood through me.

"What was that?" I yelled, taken by surprise.

"You mean you don't kiss on your planet?" She asked.

"What is a kiss? Is that what you just did?"

"One type, yeah." She laughed. I gasped. "It's how humans show affection. Some kisses can be used with anyone you like, and some are exclusively for people you are attracted to."

"How do you perform these kisses?"

"Well, the one I just did earlier was the kind you could use on anyone you like. I won't show you all of the ones for people you are attracted to, but I'll show you the simplest kind."

She stood in front of me, mere centimeters from my face, closed her eyes, and performed the same movement as before, except this time, on my lips. The feeling I need felt before was exponentially increased. It only lasted for a minute, but it left me hooked, like a drug.

"You're blushing." She giggled.

"Zim is not blushing!" I yelled.

I sighed. It was all over now. She was officially my girlfriend.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

That afternoon, I took GIR on a walk around the neighborhood. I have found it makes GIR a little less crazy (Though that is no small feat), and is an excellent way to spy on others. I wasn't spying on anyone today, merely trying to calm GIR.

On said walk, I happened to pass by Dib, who was leaning against a tree in his front yard reading a book. I was reminded of how Sally had kissed me on the cheek earlier, saying it was a sign of affection for anyone you like. I decided to honor Dib by showing him this affection.

"Hey Zim." He said, acknowledging my presence.

"Hello Dib." I replied, and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

His face went a blood red, and he crawled up the tree in self defense. "What the heck are you doing?"

"Is that not how humans show affection to other humans they like?"

"Well, sorta, but that's not OK in this situation! Unless you're living in a European nation or something. Which we aren't." Dib stammered.

"Ahhh. She lied to me! Lied!" I screeched.

"Zim, it was probably just a misunderstanding, OK? Relax."

"So, when do you kiss someone on the cheek?"

"Well, there's a lot of different times when that is appropriate. For instance, it's very common to kiss relatives on the cheek."

"So, then how come you don't kiss Gaz on the cheek?"

Dib raised an eyebrow. "Because that's gross and weird? Siblings don't tend to follow that rule. It's more for parents and children, or more distant relatives. Usually distant relatives that aren't close in age to you. Like grandparents and stuff."

"You humans are confusing."

"I feel you, man." Dib laughed. "So, how do Irkens show affection to their significant others?"

"Well, like this." I lightly licked the side of Dib's face. He giggled.

"How dare you laugh at Zim!" I yelled.

"No, no, it was involuntary. It tickled." He laughed.

Yet another awkward silence was shared between Dib and I. Did I really just show him the same affection you would a mate? Dib's face was a bright red, and mine a bright pink.

"I... I'm gonna go..." I mumbled.

"Yeah, me too..." He mumbled.

"See you at school..."

"Same..."