The Beginning of the End

Chapter 12

-Katniss-

     I wake up the next morning to see my mom smiling down on me. Her blonde hair is extremely thin and cut roughly, as though she did it with her eyes closed. She has dark circles under her eyes and her face sags as though she's aged a hundred years seen I'd last seen her.  I know Prim's death hit her hard, but it hit me too and the fact that she never even once called me to say hi made me see red. 

     "Mom..." I sit up and cross my arms. After Prim died, she moved to District Two to work as a doctor there. 

     "I'm so sorry Katniss...I should have come sooner." she reaches out to cup my face and I quickly pull away.

     "You left me again. When I really needed you." I turn away from her before I cry. She pulls her hand back. "Don't you realize her death hurt me too? It was probably harder for me, since I practically RAISED her." I scream. She doesn't even flinch. "Why are you here anyway?" I ask, pouting.

     "Gale called me in to see Peeta." she admits. Anger boils inside of me.

     "So you'll come to see Peeta, but not me." I say. Her eyes fill with tears.

     "He's hurt." She says, as always putting work before her daughter. I didn't bother mentioning that I'm hurt too. We both walk to Peeta's room, and I'm surprised to see him playing cards with Gale. They're laughing at something and look up when we come in.

     "Katniss." Peeta's face lights up when he sees me and I try to hold my hatred for him back. I look at him in disgust and his face falls. 

     "Hello, Ms. Everdeen." Gale says, and for a minute I think he's talking to me.

     "Hi Gale. Hi Peeta." My mom says, walking over to them. I don't want to get any closer to Peeta so I just look at him. His eyes haven't left my face.

     "I wish you'd just die already." I spit, and walk out the door.

-Peeta-

     Her words go through me like a knife. I could have granted that wish last night. Gale seems to know what I'm thinking because he smiles at me.

     "You know she doesn't mean that." he says. I nod, not entirely convinced, and look at her mom.

     "I'm just going to check you out, and make sure everything's okay." she says. I don't like her for what she did to Katniss.

     "The doctor's already did that." I say, surprised at the tone of my voice. I'm usually never rude.

     "Yes, well I have a bit more experience." she says, and asks me to lift my shirt.

     She feels my ribs and I yelp in pain as she presses too hard in one spot. She nods and presses my stomach and I yelp again.

     "The doctors took too long with the surgery." she makes a face.

     "They never came back. They said they would but never did...so he hasn't had surgery." Gale says angrily and she scowls. 

     "Well your bones have all set incorrectly, I'm afraid I'm going to have to re-break them and give you a splint." Gale winces and I bite my lip.

     "I'll have to order some morphing and the right equipment from the Capitol. It'll take about two weeks." she tells me. I nod. "Until then I need you to stay in bed 24/7, and only get up to shower and use the restroom." she says. I sigh but nod again.

     When she leaves Gale and I sit in silence for awhile.

     "Look on the bright side." he says, smirking. "Breakfast in bed every day."

     "And lunch and dinner." I grumble. We laugh and start making jokes about being in bed. Soon we're laughing so hard we have tears coming out of our eyes.

-Katniss-

     After  I eat a quick lunch the next day, I hurry off to see Peeta. I want to know more about things that have happened and things that haven't. The hatred I felt towards him yesterday has faded and I feel guilty.

     I knock on the door and when I don't hear a reply I walk in. I stop, surprised by what I see. Someone has moved a mattress onto the floor and there are two people snoring. Flicking on the lights, Gale and Peeta start moaning and groaning. 

     "Guys, it's past noon." I push a button on the wall and the window's solid shade slide up, exposing the room to more light.

     "We just went to bed." Gale grumbles. He has deep circles under his eyes and his hair is a mess.

     "Are ya'll hungover...?" I hear another moan and Haymitch sits up on the floor. "What happened here?" I cross my arms.

     "Gale and Haymitch came in last night and got drunk." Peeta laughs.

    "And you?" I ask. He looks at me in surprise.

     "Of course not. They were just messing around and asked me if they could crash here tonight." he shrugs and smirks at Gale. I pull the two boys up and call my mom.

     "Get them sobered up." I demand and she takes them downstairs. Once they're gone, I turn to Peeta.

-Peeta-

     I begin to get nervous, wondering what she's going to do to me now that Gale and Haymitch aren't here to stop her. She lifts her hand and I flinch, but she just brushes her hair back.

     "I'm so sorry, Peeta." she apologizes again. I smile and shake my head.

     "I'm fine." I lie. "I really miss you, though." I admit. She sighs, taking my hand. She seems to be thinking of something and I let her think, too afraid to interrupt her. 

     "Real or not real, you only pretended to help the careers to help me." I smile, remembering how I had asked her the same thing. 

     "Real. I didn't want them to find you. When you set the tracker jackers on them they ran to look for you and I tried to fight them but..." I stop, remembering how worthless I am. "You saved my life by getting that medicine for me." I shudder as I recall how dazed she was after she got stung. She nods.

     "Real or not real: you were tortured by the capitol and forgot everything...just like me." her beautiful face was calm and her eyes pleaded with me.

     The idea of Katniss going through what I went through made me want to be sick. It choked me knowing I was standing right there, helpless to save her. Worthless.  I don't know what they did to her, but as she asks the question my mind goes back to everything they did to me.

     They beat me physically, electrocuted me, showed me horrible things that I just can't un-see. The physical and mental pain still haunt my nightmares, and even the brightest days are darkened a bit by the agony of it. I know I'll be scarred for the rest of my life, never forgetting the feeling of being locked up in a cold and dirty cell, listening to the screams of myself and others. Being dragged down a long hallway and locked in a room that kept getting smaller gave me claustrophobia, or the times they put my in a room with spiders pouring in from every corner gave me arachnophobia, and millions of other things I refused to let myself think about, even though I could never forget them. I lift my hand up and stroke her hair, praying that she didn't have to go through any of that.

     "Real." is all I say.