The Perfect Man | J Cole

24

Gianni

Jermaine: We need to talk

I read Jermaine's text over and over again, trying to find the right answer to reply.

Am I in the mood to talk again? I just started to focus on Lorenzo. I mean, just Lorenzo. Not anything else.

What did he want to talk about anyway? About the baby he wants? Or what?

I decided to open the text. I have to reply now. My eyes trailed over the text and my fingers tapped the text-bar, so I could type.

Jermaine: Answer Gianni
Gianni: What do you want to talk about?
Jermaine: In person. Not over messages. Can I come over yes or no?
Gianni: I'm busy atm

I know it's wrong for me to lie but I wanted to prepare myself for this 'conversation' we were gonna have. Cause I had this weird feeling in my guts — like Jermaine had something in mind.

Jermaine: With what
Jermaine: So you don't have time for me? Oh I see
Jermaine: I'm coming over idc expect me in 10 minutes bye

Jermaine sounded like he was on his damn male period. I rolled my eyes and threw my phone on the couch. What was he on?

I stood up and went to check on Lorenzo, he was still sound asleep, looking like an exact copy of Jermaine. I wonder how Jermaine hasn't noticed the fact that Lorenzo favors him a lot. They look like damn twins. Except for Lorenzo's darker skin complexion and wider nose that he got from me. But for the lips, eyes and hair. Man, he got that all from Jermaine.

After staring at Momo for too long, I heard the door and I mentally prepared myself. I was very curious to what Jermaine wanted to speak to me about.

"Hey," I greeted Jermaine and he gave me a simple nod back. I opened the door further and he stepped in. He took of his shoes and jacket and walked to my couch silently as I followed him.

"Do you have something to tell me, Gianni?" I frowned and shook my head. "What am I supposed to tell you?" Jermaine looked away and confusement took over my mind.

What was I supposed to tell him?

"Jerma-" "Is Lorenzo mine or not?" The sudden sentence left his mouth. The sentence I never expected him to say. Was this fucking real?

I felt my heart beat faster and a lump formed in my throat, making me breath quicker. It felt surreal. How did he know? Who told him? Was it my dad? Jilenna?

"Jermaine, what are you talking about?"

"Fucking tell me Gianni, before I turn your house in a fucking hell. Are you gonna tell me the truth or what?"

"Jermaine, I..." Tears started to form and I felt like absolute shit. I had betrayed Jermaine and lied to him. A lie you can't fix. "I'm so sorry." My voice cracked as I tried to apologize to my best friend and lover.

God, please save him for me. Please don't let me lose him once again.

Jermaine was silent. I didn't dare to look at him. My baby found out and now all I can do is cry and pray for him to stay and not leave. Even though he had every right to leave my dumb ass. At this moment I wish I could rewind time.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I could sense by his voice, he was furious, like ready to kill me. His voice sounded as calm as ever. And I know what that means when it comes to Jermaine.

He's gotten so mad to the point that he was scared. And I always scared seeing Jermaine in that state. Although I knew he wouldn't lay a finger on me.

"I'm sorry. I was dumb and young, Jermaine. I-... I didn't know how to tell you. I never wanted to double the weight on your shoulders with a baby."

"You should have told me, Gianni!" He stood up and I looked at him, noticing tears in his eyes.

Please don't cry. Ughhhh.

"Do you know how I feel? You knew how I fucking hate my bitch ass dad for leaving me and my family at a young age and now I feel like I did the exact same thing with my child! How could you keep him away from me? God, I don't even know what day he was born. I wasn't fucking there when he took his first breath. When he took his first steps! Jesus Christ, Gianni!" He put his hands behind his head and turned around. I couldn' t say anything. I was speechless.

And I wanted Jermaine to be mad at me. He had every right to, cause I'm mad at myself too.

"How could you keep my own flesh and blood away from me?" He sat down on the couch and burried his head in his hands, softly sobbing.